mandax

It obeyed with just a squeeze.
The particles clung to her skin,
then sunk in.
Deep,
until only the scent
lingered above.
Covered the flesh,
the salt,
the sweat.
The body's odor.
The night before.
The morning after.
The vodka and the smoke --
the smells that make him choke.
She squeezes
harder
and more often.

Author's Note:

Wrote this for a poetry class. So, Cosme, if you're searching to see if I copied my poem from somewhere, this is Amanda, so no, I'm not plagiarizing. =]

ms. vodka

this is good mandex, but could be made maybe a touch better if you would dive into more detail in areas where you say things such as 'the body's odor.' you obviously have a talent for imagery, so i think you could stretch lines like that into stunning.

a good read, though.

jen

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Skidding Through the Mud Incognito

Baron

I can only really say that I agree with what ms vodka has said about this one.

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