Note: When I saw the new poetry challenge "Regret" it brought me back to a time of my most painful regret. Since these were written already They didn't qualify for the challenge.
In my dreams and nightmares of a face that forever haunts me
In my dreams and nightmares her face swims before me, I can't tell which is which, for they merge into each other filling me with remorse, longing and dread. Such a sweet, pretty, innocent face; staring at me with pleading eyes that burns in my heart forever. I long to touch her; to hold her in my arms and comfort her like a father too a child. So much suffering, too much pain for one so young to bare- close your eyes- please close your eyes- stop staring at me- time to go to sleep- I'm here to take away your pain. My finger pulls the trigger; the bullet hits her head while her eyes stare vacantly at me, empty of life and forgiveness.
Firewall
Nightmares scream and waken me
Upon her face dead long ago
Ashen cheeks toothless frowns
Razor blades and bandages
Broken dreams shattered lives
blood filled tears and silent screams
Scary clowns and big balloons
mother goose can’t stay afloat
Laughing scarecrows empty fields
Wooden soldiers all about
Pull the trigger what surprise
Hear the pop- smoke in the hole
Please close your eyes don’t stare at me
Ferris wheels and lollipops
Go to sleep I’ll numb your pain
Cotton candy and pony rides
fairy tales and long lost dreams…
save a place for me
I relive that day, that one moment in time, in my dreams and nightmares; and no waking day goes by that I don't wonder what she would've been if not for the reign of fire afflicted on her and her people by wide eyed and dedicated wonder boys come to liberate her land.
[
In My Waking Dreams
Blood stained memories
A killer’s tears
For country honor duty home
That vacant stare so hard to bear
In my dreams forever
round eyed wonder boys
shiny boots weapons ready
death before dishonor
As the fog lifts
The rain falls on the long ago dead
Their shadows stir beneath the earth
Haunting melodies forever in my dreams
For country honor duty home
thatched huts and sunsets
napalm tea and misery
what honor in this
A child’s cry ~a mothers tears
No remorse; are they not the enemy?
Dead meat-clean sweep- no retreat
For country honor duty home
Blood stained memories
A killer’s tears…
Your face will forever be etched in my mind and no matter how many times I try to forget; the memory of your innocence would not let me. If only war didn’t exist then you could be alive instead of the ghost that haunts my dreams…
Unforced Memories of another Time and Place
If only~
I could go back in time and change
the moment that was your last.
If only~
I can hold you in my arms
And sing you a lullaby
rather then a dirge
If only~
You weren’t yet born when we
came to your quiet village that day
But what was will always be
and what you could have been
I will never see
In my waking dreams and nightmares
your ghostly shadow will always be
a reminder of the monster that hides in all humanity
If only~
You could have seen more sunsets
At least Hell you were denied
It waits for me
