glorified

Time, power, both illusion.
simplicity of existence.
Vanity, insanity.
complications, here comes delusion
Politicians; persistent.
let me live, give me certainty.
A dark room, in seclusion
silence, intermittent . . .
Thoughtful, prayers igniting
life, a breath. slow and loving.
Universal fear, happiness
dying.


Any title ideas? What do you think? It's one of my first poems written.

Noirllyn

Well, it's good for being one of your first. However, I'm just getting a bunch of nice words and rhymes out of it--no real image to it.

People around here say "show, don't tell" a lot, but I don't get the impression that I'm being shown or told anything.

__________________

glorified

True, I did find it lacking focus.

terrib

I thought that was an sweet but accurate opinion Noirllyn. I wish everyone here could give that kind of criticism. I have to agree with both posts, glorified, but I did like the first four lines.