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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 04-28-2008, 05:51 PM   #1
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Matthatter is an unknown quantity at this point
Trinity
There is a Castle

and a King
on a throne
on a flag, hanging
from the steps
that reach up to the heavens.
Swaying in cloud currents, he remains endangered, for one day
Destruction will carve
a mighty arrow
fired forward
towards the brow of the
the holy man
To set his eyes ablaze.
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Old 04-28-2008, 07:46 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matthatter View Post

here is a Castle


and a King
on a throne
on a flag, hanging suggest losing this.
from the steps and this
that reach up to the heavens. and this
Swaying in cloud currents, he remains endangered, for one day and the comma
Destruction will carve
a mighty arrow
fired forward
towards the brow of the break after brow and remove one a "the"
the holy man
To set his eyes ablaze.
A few suggestions.
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