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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 04-26-2008, 06:14 PM   #1
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Location: Antigua, Guatemala
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La Moza is on a distinguished road
Mary Mag

Tiny beads of him dripped from my lips
as I recounted the night,
how we danced, soaked in the juices of
a thousand years of human history
which flowed from our pores.
He spoke with intensity that
would lift a spider’s head from his work.

But my world is a cage
guarded by flesh-horny mongrels.
I swallow their pleasure for bread.
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Old 04-27-2008, 12:17 PM   #2
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Quite good, I like contrast between the first and second stanzas of how her world is normally and with "him".
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Old 04-27-2008, 12:47 PM   #3
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Hi, LM. Pleasure.
I'd like to figure out what you're talking about. The only thing that occurred to me was an ephemeral encounter of a very special significance.
What are you trying to show by their dancing, while one of them has beads dripping from their lips and the other is speaking? It seems as if there was a lot of activity, but connected to what? What is the real importance of this encounter? Why is it so significant and intense in comparison with
a cage guarded by flesh-horny mongrels?
I see a lot of meaning in this piece but IMO, it's wholly encrypted form.
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