jetzeppelin

Ras Algethi

Angered at a hair,
Shiny metal, wood between,
Thunder is my cry.

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"GOAT IN"-Legend of Zelda: the Twilight Princess

Oh s**t they deleted my signature, again? They did really! Wow. It was really offensive then.

Check out my "story" in the Fiction section FALL OF THE MAGICIAN, my opus maximus. http://www.writingforums.com/showthread.php?t=63988

PrisonerOfPrey

I'm not much of a haiku person myself, but just because its short doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to be commented on. I don't really know what this was about (probably just a lack of background knowledge) and thunder is my cry seems clique. Still, it was pleasant to read. Thanks for posting.

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Now I lay me down to sleep/
With every passing thought I weep/
Lead me into nights dark bliss/
And let me wake in innocence. -Me

jetzeppelin

Once the object of the poem becomes clear, I don't see how the last line could be construed as a cliche. Metaphors rock.

Thanks for the crit

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"GOAT IN"-Legend of Zelda: the Twilight Princess

Oh s**t they deleted my signature, again? They did really! Wow. It was really offensive then.

Check out my "story" in the Fiction section FALL OF THE MAGICIAN, my opus maximus. http://www.writingforums.com/showthread.php?t=63988