|
Dear JB3,
I read your poem and found it flowed resonant to my experiences. No critiques here, but here's my dialectical resounding to your sound and fury in every verse. I'm adversed to my silence, so for what it's worth here's my epiphany to your request of edit to your ownership of verse. The inspiration of my words are from your verse and are neither better nor worsted. Thanks, unfortunately I enjoyed your struggle.
(9r9r8r6r4r9r8r6) * 9r9rr9r6r4r9r9r7)
As we struggle through this no-man’s land
As we struggle through this fallow land
Of conversational oddities
of contentious wastes of oddities
Can we ever truly connect?
can we recover our disconnect
The things we’ve left unsaid
when things unsaid assail
Through the ages
soiled by stages
Can we find a way to bridge this gap
can we lone find ways to abridge
Maneuvering through this mine field
maneuvering of mind fields betrayed
Of things best left unsaid?
by geometry best unfelt
(11r9r7r4r4r9r10r7r7 * 10r9r7r4r5r10r6r6)
The trite necessities of conversation
The triangle of need's conversation
Pasted over important issues
pastes over memory's cursed tissues
That shall never be discussed
that can never be abused
Alluded to
alludes to faults
Pondered about.
pondering about
Impossible to trust another
impostors trusting one another
With the most secret parts of whom we are,
with secrets of what's cryptic so apart
Fearing treachery and shame
fault treachery and sham
Yet longing for tenderness.
yet longing to be touched
( 7r6r9r5r7r8r6 * 7r6r9r6r7r8r6 )
Trying to wiggle our way
Try to wrangle this horror
Around this walled off space
beneath this enclosed trench
Of serious things we cannot say,
above such serious serous waste
For fear and mistrust
for foolish love and rust
Cannot allow us to stray
rubbles friendly fire estranged
From society’s conventions
from culture's bleating rituals
No matter our dismay.
No matter our despair.
-----------------------
I understand and give thanks to BJ3.
Last edited by peterphreak : 04-23-2008 at 12:34 PM.
|
