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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 04-21-2008, 11:45 PM   #1
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Location: Medan, North Sumatera, Indonesia
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Charm of you

The shine of your hair
And color of your eyes
Your skin so fair
They sometimes hypnotize

The way that you talk
So sweet and slight
And way you walk
You’re quite a sight

The love I have for you
It reaches to the sky
A love so strong and true
I simply can’t deny
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Old 04-22-2008, 08:13 PM   #2
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Seems like your second lines should be your third lines in the first two stanzas. It makes the rhymes a bit corny but it's the eyes not the skin eyes and hair that hypnotizes and it is the way she walks not the way she talks that is so sweet and slight.
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