Jas_H

Lost


The presents of familiar figures, linger behind my shoulders.
They follow me as I tread along this path.
My journey lost amongst the stars,
Searching for the light that calls me.

This continuous sea of black light, seeming to me it seems
That It’s been an eternity, but still I tread along this path,
Waiting to inhale those scents itched within my memory.

I watch as loneliness grows, consuming my sanity;
Looking endlessly into the sky I cry out loud to absorb the pain,
Descending to my knees,
Staring into that which I fear, is my destiny.

I scream!

Echoes answer back, mocking me sinisterly,
But then I grin or giggle to my self
Trying to hold on to that which is me,
What’s left of me in my open eyed dreams.

I know, how it may never be, my dream of green seas.
These tears seep from desperation,
They bleed from hope that this end would soon come.

These familiar figures, enshrouding me keep me company as
I continue this endless journey to await the day, or maybe death will take me.

Until then I sit in this chair, ignoring the beautiful scenery,
Sinking deeper into this empty void, pale faced,
For I seek only to go home.

Lost in Some Story

Glad to see someone writing a poem about me.

That said, I should stick around to critique it I suppose. I'm not one for poetry, but this one just didn't sink in with me. A lot of the imagery is cliche. It's a good start. smiling's better at these than I am.

You mean presence?

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Baron

This needs a lot of tightening up. There is a great deal of repetition and you could trim out a lot of unnecessary words that take from this rather than adding to it.

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