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I can see the confusion in the life of the narrator, who is constintly bombarded by this "thing" that slowly takes your mind away to... insanity? maybe? Maybe not insanity but something happened that changed the narrator for the worse. Like a parasite, it bleeds the narrator dry.
That's my interpretation. As far as rythem goes, it was solid but not in a fixed way. It was jumpy here and there but overall very well written... but use commas to show a pause here and there.
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Which has the higher tax: the price of knowledge, or the price of ignorance?
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from this dull red blade forged in heart's plunder
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