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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 04-13-2008, 05:48 AM   #1
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Muhammad `Ata as-Sayyid

Muhammad `Ata as-Sayyid

My shirt is as dark as my soul
Dry ice is as cold as my heart
My skin is as dry as a desert
As vicious as Albert was smart
I am --
as lethal as sunlight is bright

Surrounded by allies
resisting neutral parties
mistaken for our enemies --
preying on those who would
pray to an innocent God
even in death...

Self-destructive urges
Our pilgrimage for peace
The paradox of beliefs

The death of the Sun
forms the death of her sons
The lighthouse has fallen
The deed has been done
Watch us wither away
as the carpenter dies --
lost in the spectrum of time
He is --
forgetten forever and ever, Amen.

Surrounded by migrant cadavers
no longer absorbing that bullshit
mistaken for the truth
The victims of our warped perspective
A fate inescapable
Even for us...

The angels of death
The prophets of peace
The paradox of beliefs

Last edited by ShabookiSkittles : 04-13-2008 at 02:48 PM.
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Old 04-13-2008, 02:08 PM   #2
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Dear ShabookiSkittles,



Again, i'm avoiding my work. But, i would rather receive a rebuff than try to buff my words to no avail, apologies again for my graffiti. I thought your piece was quite a bold and contemporary message of the intrinsic mythology of Caine and Able. Thanks sincerely for giving me a chance to contemplate Muhammad 'Ata as Sayyid from a first person and a divinely personal point of view. I liked the font changes as your shifting perspective. Here's how i read your verse. I didn't mean for the comments to be a correction, but rather as a way to connect your words to my mind since once threads let loose on the web, they're no longer ours. Thanks so much for the (mid)Easter perspective on the fall of the twin towers.



Muhammad `Ata as-Sayyid

8r8r9r8r2r8
My shirt is as dark as my soul
Dry ice is as cold as my heart
My skin is as dry as a desert
As vicious as Albert was smart
I am --
as heartless as sunlight is bright
Dry ice or Dry eyes are (muhammad)? Vicious/Cruel/Cool? Albert: Prince pierced or relativity unified (cruel: Oppenheimer's dilemma)? heartless/heatless/hearthless?


6r7r8r7r8r4
Surrounded by allies
resisting neutral parties
mistaken for my enemies --
preying on those who may
pray to an incorrect God
even in death...

neutral/rejecting ... united/nation's? my/our enmities? may/dare? incorrect/innocent?even/highjacked (cliche)


6r6r7
Self-destructive urges
My pilgrimage for peace
The paradox of beliefs

Beautiful tripartite consubstantiation (sorry for the big words, i couldn't think of any better)


5r6r6r6r6r6r7rTWOr10
The death of the Sun
forms the death of the sons
I've extinguished the light
now my work here is done
and we'll wither away
and then Jesus will die -
Lost in the spectrum of time
He is --
forgetten forever and ever, Amen.

Sun/Star? "the" son/His(Her)? I've(I'll)? light/fusion/confusion? work/wreck/task? wither/burn together? die(does the idea of Jesus die?)/lie/sigh? forgetten/forgetful/forceful? (Sorry for my wordiness, just that one death is never enough for humanity)



9r10r6r11r10r4
Surrounded by migrant cadavers
no longer accepting any bullshit
mistaken for the truth
and victimizing every pious soul
including myself...

migrant/hurtling? accepting/rejecting? mistaken/acquitted/ejected from? including/reincarnating/interjecting?


5r5r7
The angel of death
The prophet of peace
The paradox of beliefs

angel of death/ apostle of death? prophet/profit? paradox/pair of diced belief

Last edited by peterphreak : 04-13-2008 at 02:43 PM.
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