Vik

Can you see
looking back
looking black
like that smudge
on your soul

and can you
reflect
on the fact
that you're nothing
but a smudge

looking back
at your own trail
of shit

Mermaid on the breakwater

I like the way the content matches the title and that the poem comments upon itself - that is quite clever.

__________________
Doors 2, an anthology: http://www.lulu.com/content/3522683

jjr tolken lover

this was an interesting poem. I thoght the ending was the best part.
Try redoing the middle though.

Would you be mind commenting my poem "Magniloquent but, Feeble"

ash somers

i'm not sure what this piece is trying to achieve
personally i think it falls dismally short of the mark

Gate

uhmmmmm well its ...ok

__________________
" Imagine if all you ever did was kill for God. What kind of being would you be? An Angel sword dripping, your wings always dipped in blood.....Imagine."

Gate

is the trail your past?? what are you trying to say here??

__________________
" Imagine if all you ever did was kill for God. What kind of being would you be? An Angel sword dripping, your wings always dipped in blood.....Imagine."