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Special Place
I slide the blade across my arm
Breathe a sigh of relief
The pain is now gone
For these few moments that I have to myself
Take me into my special place
Where only good things are dealt
Nothing can harm me here
Nothing can bring me down
Nothing can make the tears
Nothing ever spins around
It’s my secret heaven
Where no one can intrude
They gets stopped short at the door
For they don’t have and clue
Any clue what they do to me
Every single day
How they are the people that caused my pain
How they are the ones that make me scared
Scared to look myself in the eyes
Because I don’t want to see the hurt
See everything that I’ve done to myself
And how I’ve tried to turn the blind eye
I’ve tried to ignore what I’ve caused myself
And tell myself that this is alright to do
Tell myself that this is a good way to cope
And that things would be worse if I chose another route
I could always choose to end all of this
I could always choose to say “fuck the world”
And cut a vein
….hang myself
…take some pills
But no, I’ve chosen to hang on
And if it means doing this
Taking this blade
Sliding it across my wrist
It’s exactly what I will do
Because when I’m in that special place
I know that I am safe
I know that I have released the pain
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