Martin

Like a sun to planets
Like a star in the dark
Close to everyone
Dancing in and out
of lives,
she is,
wherever she goes
trailing colors of flowers,
painting the room
serene.

Garden of Kadesh

Short and nice - but the title makes me second guess its simplicity. Why is it called "remember"?

__________________
All that moves is easily heard in the void. We will listen for you.

Martin

Thanks Garden

Most of us have met persons that were particularly special in our eyes, and then fallen in love with them. But instead of desiring them to be with us, (call it selfishness), we should rejoice in the thought that hopefully they will keep shinning and make people happy whereever they go. So whenever these persons dance out of our lives, that is what we should remember.

/m

dannyboy

Martin do you need the 'our'?

Martin

hmm.. good point. I guess I could do without it, but in a way the poem is a tribute to "her" or "people like her" and so it helps seperate "her" from "us" - the commoners.. or what do you think?

/m

Baron

I agree with dannyboy on this. I think that losing our, which implies possession, would lend more power to the subject. A nice piece.

__________________

Martin

Hi Baron.

I guess that bottomline the "our" sprung from my personal reference, so you guys might be right. And after I read it now, it sounds better without! Hereby noted and edited.. Thanks guys..

/m