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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 03-23-2008, 05:29 PM   #1
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Barn Door

You’re like a broken barn door that keeps flapping in the wind.
You can’t be left open because things from the barn will blow in and out.
When you are shut the repetitive knocking on the wooden latch is so loud that not a moment’s peace is had by anyone.

It’s not your fault but yet you get blamed for the annoyance.
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Old 03-23-2008, 05:57 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber Leaf View Post

You’re like a broken barn door
that flaps
in the wind.
You can’t be
left open because
things from the barn will blow

in and out.

When you are
shut - repetitive knocking
on the wooden latch
is so loud
- not a moment’s
peace is had
by anyone.


It’s not your fault
but yet
you get blamed
for the annoyance.
Playing around a little with the enjambment on this one will add layers to it, make it appear a stronger metaphor. The changes I've mad are just to give you an idea.
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Old 03-23-2008, 06:03 PM   #3
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I'd prefer out and in
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