Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
02-02-2008, 02:19 PM
|
#1
|
|
Writer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
|
Unwaver
I see, even dimly,
a reflection of my misery.
A lone mountain in the background,
truly represents me.
Even that ripple of hope on the water of life
seems impossible now.
But I will surely stretch my hand out
and take it at face value.
For I will not give up.
That reflection of misery that I see...
will not hinder me.
__________________
"So full of hate were our eyes, that none of us could see, our war would yield countless dead, but never victory. So let us cast arms aside, and like discard our wrath, Thou, in faith, will keep us safe, whilst we find the path."
|
|
|
|
02-02-2008, 02:21 PM
|
#2
|
|
Writer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
|
Renewal
Here's another:
I am complete, my life renewed!
I could sing praise, to all who would listen,
and bow at their feet, without a care in the world.
I might shout a joyous exultation,
to the ones I love,
and thank God,
for all of the above.
__________________
"So full of hate were our eyes, that none of us could see, our war would yield countless dead, but never victory. So let us cast arms aside, and like discard our wrath, Thou, in faith, will keep us safe, whilst we find the path."
Last edited by DarkThrone : 02-02-2008 at 03:44 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
02-02-2008, 02:22 PM
|
#3
|
|
Writer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
|
Crushed Dreams
And another:
Without a melody, I sing.
Without a tune, I hum.
Without a voice, I speak.
Without a dream...without a dream...
I am done.
__________________
"So full of hate were our eyes, that none of us could see, our war would yield countless dead, but never victory. So let us cast arms aside, and like discard our wrath, Thou, in faith, will keep us safe, whilst we find the path."
|
|
|
|
|
02-02-2008, 03:03 PM
|
#4
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Aug 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 407
|
Hey, post these one at a time. Give each of these the space and time they deserve, and for people to address them accurately.
I'll tackle the last poem:
It's good, very good. I'm not a fan of the repetition in L4 and the title could show a bit fresher word choice, but otherwise I think the piece is a right gem and good work besides. Thanks. =)
|
|
|
|
|
02-02-2008, 03:39 PM
|
#5
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: AmbientArtists
Gender: Private
Posts: 3,739
|
These could be longer and stronger I think... but not sure exactly how. I think you meant "exultation" in the second one. First one is best.
__________________
My hopeful book:
Crap! Haven't posted it anywhere yet, darn!
"Only tyranny cloaks itself in shadows. The light of justice can not be hidden."
www.theoddvillepress.com
|
|
|
|
|
02-02-2008, 03:45 PM
|
#6
|
|
Writer
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
|
All right, thanks. Changed the "Exultation" thing.
__________________
"So full of hate were our eyes, that none of us could see, our war would yield countless dead, but never victory. So let us cast arms aside, and like discard our wrath, Thou, in faith, will keep us safe, whilst we find the path."
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:15 PM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us: 
|
|
