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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
01-28-2008, 09:13 AM
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#1
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,258
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Doc Holliday.
Doc Holliday.
The speediest slinger in the west,
a nervy setting around the eyes,
a gun strapped an inch below his vest -
cocked before the bullet flies.
So drunk he’s seeing double,
staring into empty space
with a gun for each of ya’,
watching your every pace.
He keeps alive with his calm,
liquid reflexes to match the feral -
a gun spinning in his palm
With a loaded barrel.
He’s your huckleberry,
a gambler and a drinker,
leading cowboys on a merry
dance - a thinker.
He’s the guy from just out of town,
with a steel in his scope,
and an understated frown
when he draws his gun on a rope
from just under his coat,
in his hand without a cigarette;
leaves a hole - dead centre throat,
Or straight through the head;
the only slinger to die in his bed.
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01-28-2008, 09:18 AM
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#2
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,903
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You've been watching "Tombstone".
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01-28-2008, 09:24 AM
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#3
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,258
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron
You've been watching "Tombstone".
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I know, I watched it on dvd again yesterday and I just wanted to write a poem for Val Kilmer's version of him. Brilliant character.
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01-28-2008, 09:25 AM
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#4
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 778
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Enjoyed this, overall - although the rhythm falters in various places (i.e. stanza 1, line 3). Stanza 2 verges on literal. Other than that, a sound poem. Stanza 3 flows particularly well.
__________________
Where the barmen have their names etched in salt; earthy and honest like their fathers. -- MisterJack
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01-28-2008, 09:42 AM
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#5
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,240
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"Hell, I got lots of friends."
"I don't."
Love that movie, his character in particular. Good poem MOTB.
__________________
If writing is wrong, I don't want to be right. 
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01-28-2008, 09:57 AM
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#6
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oxford
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,349
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Yep it was a fun read and a good salut to Mr Kilmer's rendition.
Though, this reply probably won't register as the forum seems shagged again
Good to read you again Mermy
Jack
__________________
If it claims to be God, eat it.
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01-28-2008, 12:21 PM
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#7
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,258
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Thanks for the comments everyone and yes, the forum is definitely glitchy at the moment. Gotta' love Doc Holliday.
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01-28-2008, 06:37 PM
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#8
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: May 2007
Location: California USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 435
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You did a pretty good job on this. I'm saying this seriously, it has a "drunk" kind of unsteady read to it. I can really picture Doc in this piece. I enjoyed it. Good, motw.
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01-29-2008, 12:30 PM
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#9
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,903
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The film was on tv on Sunday night, and "Wyatt Earp" with Kevin Costner on Monday. Doc Holiday saturation but the Val Kilmer rendidition is definitely the best.
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01-29-2008, 08:46 PM
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#10
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,903
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vangoghsear
"Hell, I got lots of friends."
"I don't."
Love that movie, his character in particular. Good poem MOTB.
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Val Kilmer certainly did a better job than Dennis Quaid did in "Wyatt Earp"
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01-31-2008, 10:25 AM
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#11
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,903
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bump, ouch...
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01-31-2008, 08:18 PM
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#12
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 240
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Loved it MotB. I love Tombstone and Doc Holliday is my favorite character in it. No crit's at all, though I am a bit dissapointed "You ain't no daisy, you ain't no daisy at all!" Wasn't in there lol. Now im having the urge to watch Tombstone lol, I believe I have the DVD somewhere. Once again, nice work.
__________________
"A writer without crticque, is nothing"
"The reason I love the rain, is so other's won't see the tears falling from my eyes."
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01-31-2008, 09:12 PM
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#13
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 223
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What a fun poem you have here Mermaid, no crits just saying this was a goodie.
__________________
Well, it was a nice check, Kitty, and really I might have won, if it hadn't been for that nasty Knight, that came wriggling down among my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's pretend -- -" And here I wish I could tell you half the things Alice used to say, beginning with her favorite phrase "Let's pretend."
written by Lewis Carroll
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