I will try and give you a few pointers as you seem keen
I let the wind in the opening line did not draw the reader imo
to mingle with my hair does wind 'mingle' with hair?
that started bragging in the air, 'that' was not needed. Also lose 'ing'
and playing the tune-free music lose the 'and'
An aura of tranquillity
was born. it's not a bad break between primary stanzas
My eyes
were sealed with a fake snooze.
My ears
were seeking echoes.
My heart
was desperate for a poem.
with the last stanza, the repetition of 'My' becomes grated. Might I suggest something like.....
eyes;
sealed with fake snooze
ears;
seek echoes
heart;
desperate for the poetic
I've kept the basis of your words and this is just a suggestion for you to play with.
Keep writing and don't be disheartened if people don't respond.
Hope this helps
Jack
