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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 01-12-2008, 08:27 AM   #16
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,144
Mermaid on the breakwater is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pete_C View Post
Again, this stops short of what it promises to deliver. However, with a tweak, you could also use:
Why do these deep blues
weep so
onto a cold floor between
worn shoes?
as a last line; it's a fucking corker.
Thanks, Pete, good to hear from you again. I'll take a look at your suggestions for both poems.
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