Edgewise

Caveat: I have not written anything (good) in a long time, and I feel that this is ok enough to post and improve. Written in one sitting as a stream of thought. Those of you who like vagaries...dig in.


Give me a shot of jack, hold the swagger,
Badger another lonely poet,
Who’s the least graceful denizen?
No shit, you already know it,
Who’s the citizen to my Cain?
Bearing cynical criticism?
Cyclical core divisions,
Viewed through a prosaic prism,
The light bends Predator style,
I am stalking you across the collective,
Unconscious, just try to bomb this,
In a prom dress holding an empty match,
Book, like a rook in Leningrad,
Don’t stick around with the fad,
Fake fools prancing around,
Playing Michael Jackson’s “Bad”,
In their head…

Bar stool philosophy crooked across the dissonance,
Warpath craven monopoly, send me my liquor and nicotine fix,
Triple-six insurance agents coupled with numerous check deposit slips,
Tripping off the fumigation, I’m seeing visions of ghost ships,
Sunk by every little wave which broke apart the calm oceans,
Bring me your flotsam,
I wanna filter it,
Through my coffee pot equation.

Red light district vs. the green dollar bill,
For just a little bit of dignity, buy yourself a thrill,
Take your fill in, don’t be shy,
This is a carnival mentality,
Fatality,
Broken cavity,
Don’t bother trying to heal the malady.

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How can you expect a man who's warm to understand a man who's cold?
- Solzhenitsyn "Ivan Denisovich"

Baron

No such thing as a flawless poem but this one comes pretty close. Kudos.

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Eiji Tunsinagi

You never cease to be awesome in my book, Edge. Great poem.

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"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"

Edgewise

Thanks guys. I think this is a keeper.

__________________
How can you expect a man who's warm to understand a man who's cold?
- Solzhenitsyn "Ivan Denisovich"

surfacetoday

The middle section is killer. Could be an awesome set of lyrics actually. Otherwise, the first verse feels a little too randomly associated,
and please, dear god, cut the Michael Jackson bit, or make it more comedic.
I like the predator thing though -- that was really funny.
Overall, very good. But like I said before -- that middle section trumps the rest of the poem for me.

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Eat shit and poop it out, then repeat ten million times til you become a saggy old basset hound.

www.myspace.com/jakeharms
for music, writing stuff

Edgewise

Thanks Surface.

__________________
How can you expect a man who's warm to understand a man who's cold?
- Solzhenitsyn "Ivan Denisovich"