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Shotgun Blow Your Head Off Creek


Shotgun Blow Your Head Off Creek
is nice. Pretty in the day. Light
cutting through the trees. Soft places to lie.
Can’t chew on the grass, though. Don’t know
how many brains have fertilized that spot.

Ha.
Maybe I could sell it, call it
Grass for Smarts
Chew on a blade and think, don’t be stupid.
Ha.
Bet lots of people would fall for it, though.
We can sure get took.

Blow Your Head Off is down the road
back in the woods a little.
Stay away at night. It feels ugly.
The mosquitoes come out of nowhere,
plant their asses all over you.
Even through your clothes. If the moon
is bright enough,
the creek has a pinkish glow.
Floats a smell. Nasty.
You sense “things” in the trees.
The creek doesn’t ripple.
It’s still, like ice.

Local folks wanted to change the name.
Nicer. Something more pleasant, they said.
So, Pleasant Creek it is.

Ha.
Hey, why don’t we call it, say
For-Get-Me-Not Cove
Or maybe, Ka- boomdock Holler.
Bloody Good Spot was the kicker.
Ha.
Got me booted from the town hall meeting.
Left them with their imaginary eraser.

I just thought I’d warn you.
Changing some words here and there
don’t make it so. If you like “pretty,”
visit Pleasant Creek in the daytime.
But, just so you don’t get “took,”
visit Pleasant Creek at night.

Baron

A good narrative

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Pete_C

Interesting; something to make the reader think. It's very welcome!

SteMcGrath

I got slightly confused at times. But some nice imagery. And yes, some good narrative.

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"He was over at our house struggling with a poem he could not finish, so I took him upstairs and gave him sex. He came down and finished that verse in twenty-five minutes."

apple

Thanks for reading. Much appreciated

surfacetoday

this was genuinely funny. funny and talky, which is difficult. and the story's totally intriguing too.

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Eat shit and poop it out, then repeat ten million times til you become a saggy old basset hound.

www.myspace.com/jakeharms
for music, writing stuff

Ilasir Maroa

Lol, this was pretty humorous. Nice piece.

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My hopeful book:
Crap! Haven't posted it anywhere yet, darn!
"Only tyranny cloaks itself in shadows. The light of justice can not be hidden."

www.theoddvillepress.com

Mermaid on the breakwater

Shouldn't it be called Shotgun-Blow-Your-Head-Off-Creek?

Eiji Tunsinagi

This was a slightly disturbing country-feeling narrative. I'm not sure about what I just read. But it was still good. Which is, in itself, good.

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"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"

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Thank you all for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to write. I enjoy writing pieces in dialogue style.