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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
10-28-2007, 05:08 PM
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#1
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
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Georges Perec (Turns Me On)
I made things up.
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"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
Last edited by Eiji Tunsinagi : 12-26-2007 at 04:49 PM.
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10-28-2007, 06:16 PM
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#2
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,741
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So I had to look up Georges Perec, and I want to thank you. It was very interesting and now I know some more stuff. Also it made your poem very enjoyable. I already liked it for some strange reason (with some slight changes) without the background to it, but now - yes. A very good read. You make some interesting poems. huni
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each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust
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10-28-2007, 06:17 PM
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#3
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,741
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Oh and snook? That's a funny word. Did you mean snuck?? Is that a word? I don't know anymore lol, h
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each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust
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10-28-2007, 06:29 PM
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#4
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
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Georges Perec is exciting...he has a way with...stuff. What changes do you think are needed?
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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10-28-2007, 06:41 PM
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#5
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,741
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First _I love lists so this is still good to me. (I have a list on my desktop of all my lists for goodness sake! lol)
Take this stanza:
Across from me, past maybe-Godard's-brother, (past maybe?)
a figure with long hair holding their nose ( a figure .. holding their nose to ..?)
to Georges Perec. Some breasts. A girl?
I said Perec! aloud: To no one but her book. (I want to read; I said Perec! aloud: He didn't move. But she did say something)
She didn't move. But she did say something
about a cavalry losing their Metro tickets. (I imagine this "cavalry losing their Metro tickets" sounds like- something about N losing his mind? I'd like to know more)
Just little things like the above. h
__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust
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10-28-2007, 06:51 PM
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#6
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
Gender: Male
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oops
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10-28-2007, 06:51 PM
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#7
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
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I really enjoyed this. It's sort of ike a stream of consciousness piece, and by that I don't suggest you didn't take time on it... but when yu make lists it tends to be a stream of consciousness thing... so from the very start I got a kick out of "Coffee (cream)" as coffee just pretty much carries cream with it.
Im not sure if you did this on purpse, but I really enjoyed that line break after repeating the bumps in the road, so it felt like you took a pause (in speech) due to bumping so hard. After experiecing it that way, I really like the quick utterances, and yelling "The french!", shaking in the seat.
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10-28-2007, 07:59 PM
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#8
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Writing Machine
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Thanks Matthatter and Huni. This was...informed intuition? It was stream-of-conscious...just highly buffered.
Any one have any other opinion-like things to say?
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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10-29-2007, 12:25 AM
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#9
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
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Can't add anything to what huni has said. I enjoyed reading this
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10-29-2007, 06:37 AM
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#10
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Goomalling, Western Australia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by huni
Oh and snook? That's a funny word. Did you mean snuck?? Is that a word? I don't know anymore lol, h
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a snook is a fish, good eating I'm told ...
it also means to thumb one's nose at in defiance ...
but, Eiji is not the first to (mis)-apply it as an alternate spelling for snuck ...
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"I don't know ... I'm making it up as I go ..." - Dr I Jones
Nature abhors perfection - cats abhor a vacuum!
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10-29-2007, 08:50 AM
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#11
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Best Seller
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, England
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Completely different style. Good first stanza.
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"He was over at our house struggling with a poem he could not finish, so I took him upstairs and gave him sex. He came down and finished that verse in twenty-five minutes."
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10-29-2007, 03:06 PM
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#12
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cran
a snook is a fish, good eating I'm told ...
it also means to thumb one's nose at in defiance ...
but, Eiji is not the first to (mis)-apply it as an alternate spelling for snuck ...
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I believe snook can also refer to slight of hand or performing a trick of magic. I think...
And Ste - Were the other stanzas just frivolous crap?  
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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10-29-2007, 10:16 PM
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#13
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ny
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I think this is really cool. The more informal style seems nicely suited to you, less fussy and more fluid. I also like the events you've chosen to observe - detailing those minute trivialities that make up the beginnings of most of our days, but to each person are different.
What I guess I really like about this over all, though is its vibrance, the pulse that you can feel, and the reality it projects. It feels like walking; like being in another place.
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Eat shit and poop it out, then repeat ten million times til you become a saggy old basset hound.
www.myspace.com/jakeharms
for music, writing stuff
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10-30-2007, 04:48 AM
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#14
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Scotland
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This is getting there, I wouldn't cock a snook at the style, maybe the content.
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10-30-2007, 07:28 AM
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#15
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: South Africa
Gender: Male
Posts: 21
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Beautiful poem, love the stream of consciousness quality to the writing.
Well done on varying the lengths of sentences, adds a lot to how this one reads.
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