blazeofglory

Imagine life without anyone
Of course there seems to be many without love
Without anyone to rely on

For life is always at one with others
It can not live vitally singled out
Life needs life to support
That is love is a vital force

Indeed life can go on and on
But the goings will be totally dry
The way motorized things move

Life is lived not just for oneself
It is lived in parts
In fact life in union will be complete

When no one sheds tears when one suffers
And no one to share joys with
Life will be a dry and bare mountain
Where spring can never return

Love is what cultivates life
To turn a dry desert into a lush green garden

One needs to love and be loved
Love is not just a sensual feeling
Love for one's land, the people and the like

But when one is incapable of loving
He or she is as dead as death.
For life without love is lifeless.

dannyboy

But the goings will be totally dry
The way motorized things move

the rest is a lecture - this could be an excellent poem.

Cran

yes a lecture, blazeofglory, and one of those spam emails
that ends with:

"send this to all of your friends in the next hour,
or be known as a heartless prick for the rest of your life ... "

this piece is academic - has a lot of thought ... but no feeling ...
lots of telling ... but no showing ...

Imagine life without anyone ... good start ...

Of course - killed it right there -
there seems to be many without love ... boxed it up, and buried it ...

take your own advice here -
imagine life without anyone ...
get inside it,
experience it in your gut,
not just in your head ...

and then write that ...

__________________
"I don't know ... I'm making it up as I go ..." - Dr I Jones

Nature abhors perfection - cats abhor a vacuum!

Inkwad

I agree with you blazeofglory actually, but I find myself not wanting to. It's the tone this was written in you see. It got my back up instantly. I don't like being told that this is how it is.
Cran and dannyboy have already said it anyway. I just wanted to join in..
And you could have such a lovely peice.
There is a decided feel of having just realised the importance of love, you want to share it with everyone, and that would be lovely if it had any wonder and awe in it - like when a child says "but the sky is 'normous".
X

Brendan N

I was listening to Don McLean's 'Vincent' right before I read this poem, which also touches the same theme here. By contrast, yes this feels like a lecture or some discussion.

Perhaps try listening to Vincent. Your theme here is good, methinks, but your angle on the thing is destroying it. I'm liking your ideas though, and like Inkwad I agree mostly with what you say.

just my 2c, take it with some salt.