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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
10-23-2007, 07:52 AM
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#1
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: australia
Posts: 4,485
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Construction
There are quiet days when I sit
in a room's comforting corner,
study moving joints that permit
knee, ankle, thumb and finger.
The leap for a cell to acquire
complex structure is almost enough
to make me believe but desire
and truth are not the same language.
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10-23-2007, 08:10 AM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,293
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This is a wonderful poem. Thumbs up.
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10-23-2007, 08:14 AM
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#3
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,925
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Can't fault this one dannyboy
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10-23-2007, 08:14 AM
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#4
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male
Posts: 252
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Like this. Maybe too many "the's" in last stanza?
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10-23-2007, 08:15 AM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male
Posts: 252
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That Promethean stuff is a stanza, right?
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10-23-2007, 08:42 AM
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#6
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
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It's only two the's and they aren't close to each other. I think it's fine. I like this one.
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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10-23-2007, 07:13 PM
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#7
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: australia
Posts: 4,485
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ta all
amadeus the promethean stuff is just my sig.
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10-23-2007, 07:17 PM
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#8
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: AmbientArtists
Gender: Private
Posts: 3,737
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Believe in what? God?
__________________
My hopeful book:
Crap! Haven't posted it anywhere yet, darn!
"Only tyranny cloaks itself in shadows. The light of justice can not be hidden."
www.theoddvillepress.com
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10-23-2007, 07:22 PM
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#9
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: australia
Posts: 4,485
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intelligent design specifically.
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10-23-2007, 07:26 PM
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#10
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: AmbientArtists
Gender: Private
Posts: 3,737
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I was close. Good piece.
__________________
My hopeful book:
Crap! Haven't posted it anywhere yet, darn!
"Only tyranny cloaks itself in shadows. The light of justice can not be hidden."
www.theoddvillepress.com
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10-23-2007, 07:28 PM
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#11
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,925
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dannyboy
intelligent design specifically.
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Intelligent design requires an intelligent designer. |
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10-23-2007, 07:28 PM
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#12
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: st. louis, misery
Gender: Male
Posts: 436
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very good. i have nothing to say.
__________________
My solo music: www.myspace.com/constantbullshit
"The cutting edge of this instant right here and now is always nothing less than the totality of everything there is." -Robert Pirsig
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