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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
10-22-2007, 09:43 PM
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#1
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
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Posts: 6,911
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Question
removed for publishing reasons
Last edited by Baron : 11-06-2007 at 05:08 PM.
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10-22-2007, 10:14 PM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: AmbientArtists
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A poem, lol, but one that describes life...
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"Only tyranny cloaks itself in shadows. The light of justice can not be hidden."
www.theoddvillepress.com
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10-22-2007, 11:26 PM
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#3
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilasir Maroa
A poem, lol, but one that describes life...
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Is that a comment, a critique or a response?  |
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10-22-2007, 11:50 PM
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#4
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ny
Gender: Male
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i like it, it's direct. And I like the question at the end... something about the bridge between the creative world and real one has always fascinated me - that struggle between living inside your poem or song or painting, etc and continuing to be objective about its development. What I took the question to mean directly was: does life direct the poem, or does the poem direct one's life? - and I guess you can tell me if I've ascertained correctly, but it's an interesting dilemma in any case.
One thing though - I'm not so sure about that 'boring sameness' line, it seems kind of unthoughtful when the rest of the poem is considered. I'm sure there's another word for a better fit - maybe monotony? or stagnation?
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10-23-2007, 12:33 AM
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#5
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,911
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surfacetoday
i like it, it's direct. And I like the question at the end... something about the bridge between the creative world and real one has always fascinated me - that struggle between living inside your poem or song or painting, etc and continuing to be objective about its development. What I took the question to mean directly was: does life direct the poem, or does the poem direct one's life? - and I guess you can tell me if I've ascertained correctly, but it's an interesting dilemma in any case.
One thing though - I'm not so sure about that 'boring sameness' line, it seems kind of unthoughtful when the rest of the poem is considered. I'm sure there's another word for a better fit - maybe monotony? or stagnation?
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Thanks for the comment. I've editted that line. |
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10-23-2007, 02:08 AM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4
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I enjoyed reading it...i feel it is a poem that helps us get through life...and appreciate it for what it really is...it tells us to dig deep...it places the responsibility squarely on our shoulders, as individuals and as the readers...it at least awakens a desire to peer into our lives and observe the often poetic moments we have each day...i liked the way you wrote this as well...something that could be read daily to get us focus on what matters most in life...thank you for it...
aRt
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10-23-2007, 03:19 AM
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#7
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aRt
I enjoyed reading it...i feel it is a poem that helps us get through life...and appreciate it for what it really is...it tells us to dig deep...it places the responsibility squarely on our shoulders, as individuals and as the readers...it at least awakens a desire to peer into our lives and observe the often poetic moments we have each day...i liked the way you wrote this as well...something that could be read daily to get us focus on what matters most in life...thank you for it...
aRt
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Thanks for the comment although I don't have such lofty thoughts about it.
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10-23-2007, 03:37 AM
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#8
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4
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I feel the idea portrayed in this piece is important...maybe a little more description would better flush out the poems true meaning...but i do feel like its a very good start...
aRt
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10-23-2007, 03:42 AM
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#9
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aRt
I feel the idea portrayed in this piece is important...maybe a little more description would better flush out the poems true meaning...but i do feel like its a very good start...
aRt
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Thanks again. The poem is an acrostic so I really don't want to dabble any more than may be considered necessary with it. |
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10-23-2007, 08:55 AM
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#10
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron
Thanks again. The poem is an acrostic so I really don't want to dabble any more than may be considered necessary with it.
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Again I miss it until you mention it. They were even in caps. Oh well. Simple poem. And good.
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"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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10-23-2007, 06:37 PM
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#11
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eiji Tunsinagi
Again I miss it until you mention it. They were even in caps. Oh well. Simple poem. And good.
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Thanks for the comment |
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10-23-2007, 07:39 PM
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#12
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: AmbientArtists
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron
Is that a comment, a critique or a response? |
Response to the poem's question.
__________________
My hopeful book:
Crap! Haven't posted it anywhere yet, darn!
"Only tyranny cloaks itself in shadows. The light of justice can not be hidden."
www.theoddvillepress.com
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10-23-2007, 08:49 PM
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#13
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilasir Maroa
Response to the poem's question.
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Thank you |
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10-24-2007, 05:25 AM
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#14
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,911
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilasir Maroa
Response to the poem's question.
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You have no comment on the poem? |
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10-24-2007, 05:39 AM
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#15
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
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I hate this fucking thing.
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