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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
10-22-2007, 11:34 AM
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#1
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299
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4:15 Wetherby
- The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 1 characters.
Last edited by Pete_C : 01-26-2008 at 07:32 AM.
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10-22-2007, 12:10 PM
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#2
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
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This just didn't do it for me, Pete. I'm not sure why...maybe I just can't get into it. Maybe it's that I just don't understand...why furlongs? I don't know, I'm just not following this one...
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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10-22-2007, 12:12 PM
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#3
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Eiji Tunsinagi;1000891why [I
furlongs?[/i]
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Eight furlongs to a mile; a measure of distance predominantly used in horse racing. |
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10-22-2007, 12:18 PM
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#4
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New York
Gender: Female
Posts: 279
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Quote:
And by now the ceremony would have ended;
confetti thrown and bouqet launched;
that white dress just an emphasis
of your dry and empty womb
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This is the best part. The rest of it is okay but it seems like a jumbled mess. I do really like the lines in bold though. Very cool.
__________________
"The vivid tulips eat my oxygen."
-Plath
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10-22-2007, 12:31 PM
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#5
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,267
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Ha, brilliant! I think I got it, Pete. Is the guy at the races while his ex wife/girlfriend is getting married, or have I got it all wrong? Or is he reflecting on their marriage, come on, it must be one of the two lol. Anyway, I enjoyed it.
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10-22-2007, 12:37 PM
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#6
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermaid on the breakwater
Ha, brilliant! I think I got it, Pete. Is the guy at the races while his ex wife/girlfriend is getting married, or have I got it all wrong? Or is he reflecting on their marriage, come on, it must be one of the two lol. Anyway, I enjoyed it.
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AH - That makes sense. If it is as MotB guess, then I think this one's actually pretty good. I couldn't of guessed that...
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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10-22-2007, 12:40 PM
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#7
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299
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Actually, he's decided to miss his Ex's wedding, prefering to be in the bookies, and at the time of the wedding he bets on a horse that seems a good thing, but ultimately falters, just like so many other things in life!
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10-22-2007, 12:58 PM
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#8
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,267
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pete_C
Actually, he's decided to miss his Ex's wedding, prefering to be in the bookies, and at the time of the wedding he bets on a horse that seems a good thing, but ultimately falters, just like so many other things in life!
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So I did get in then? Just about, maybe? Lol. I thought that was it and that's why I enjoyed it. Good stuff, Pete. |
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10-22-2007, 03:03 PM
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#9
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New York
Gender: Female
Posts: 279
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Lol Pete, that does make it more interesting. I still don't really like it but props to thinking of something really clever.
__________________
"The vivid tulips eat my oxygen."
-Plath
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