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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Round Still Round Still
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 10-21-2007, 07:07 PM   #1
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Round Still
This haunted place,
never enough grace,
to go round


Inside hearing screams,
all those dreams
sleeping round


Scratching at the door,
terror falling to the floor
eyes sleeping round


Don't let it in,
it's a nasty sin,
blue eyes sleeping round


A final thought,
poem-is not,
starry blue eyes sleeping round
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Old 10-22-2007, 09:57 AM   #2
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I thought this was great - simple , inventive and sounds-out well internaly.

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Old 10-22-2007, 09:59 AM   #3
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I'm caught between hating the repition and accepting it; I can't say that I embrace it. It's a nice enough piece, but my opinion varies from reading to reading.

I guess I'll read it some more and see which side my head falls on!
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Old 10-22-2007, 12:44 PM   #4
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Autumn - thanks for the positive feedback.

Pete C - would love to hear what conclusion if any you reach in the end...
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Old 10-22-2007, 12:57 PM   #5
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I love the simplicity of this, but felt it could have had more images. Like a long haiku, maybe?
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