Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
10-21-2007, 07:28 PM
|
#16
|
|
Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: England, the beautiful southwest.
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,265
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by German Voodoo
When no one gets a poem, it's a bad poem. It is not simply above the person, it's simply in the ground. That's why we gave verse rules by which to adhere (this is not genius, but genius defies them)
|
No, genius bends and moulds them, which is what I think you've done here, sort of. It's not easy to be definitive and say this is genius or it is not; it depends on an individual's perception.
But for me, this has touches of genius, whether it actually is or not, well, maybe, maybe not.
Let's put it this way, it's a good indication of talent. |
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:30 PM
|
#17
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Gender: Private
Posts: 448
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn
Well, if you'd like company, I'm dating a guy I've been warned not to by no less than fifty people.
The thing I'm worried about with this poem is that lack of construction. You have the words in one place, sure... but meaning?
We've had our fair share of discussions about accessibility, I know, but perhaps making the meaning a bit clearer by providing that little traditional gem right where you can see it?
|
But the beauty of abstract poetry is that it takes a bit of work to decipher the meaning, since when is that a bad thing.
I had to re-read it a few times, then I got the meaning.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~
And he still gives his love, he just gives it away
The love he receives is the love that is saved
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A Man that is given to fly
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:32 PM
|
#18
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
|
Shawn means the difference between genius and the product of boredom which creates the tag. The darkening ecliptic, anyone? Abstract poetry tends to be dim, and full of abstractions. But I know too little about poetry to say anything else.
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:37 PM
|
#19
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,929
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by female_writer
But the beauty of abstract poetry is that it takes a bit of work to decipher the meaning, since when is that a bad thing.
|
A poem's meaning is inherent, not perceived.
You'll find genius in the most likely of places... because if it wasn't likely, it wasn't put in a very smart place, now was it?
Still, the tide rises, the tide falls.
__________________
"Let me be mad! Chain me, ye furies, to your iron beds! And lash my guilty corpse, with whips of scorpion!"
- HWV 60
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:37 PM
|
#20
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,911
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by German Voodoo
Shawn means the difference between genius and the product of boredom which creates the tag. The darkening ecliptic, anyone? Abstract poetry tends to be dim, and full of abstractions. But I know too little about poetry to say anything else.
|
Methinks the lad protests too much. should I let you get on with it or feed your ego? Shawn writes some good stuff but prefers classical structure. He's been experimenting a little more lately but I think it'll be a while before you two really see things eye to eye.
Think on this; Drinks with the Bard - Now your co-writer on that one is a lady who would not waste her time with a hack. |
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:44 PM
|
#21
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Gender: Private
Posts: 448
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn
A poem's meaning is inherent, not perceived.
You'll find genius in the most likely of places... because if it wasn't likely, it wasn't put in a very smart place, now was it?
Still, the tide rises, the tide falls.
|
Great use of rhetoric here...also tides as metaphor for life are always highly effective - think Edna Millay's "Pity me not"
This I have known always..
love is no more than the wide blossom which the wind assails
than the great tide that treads the shifting shore
leaving fresh wreckage gathered in the gales..
(Haha, sorry Shawn, I just found your reply to be so beautifully worded, I thought it deserved some attention of its own) (;
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~
And he still gives his love, he just gives it away
The love he receives is the love that is saved
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A Man that is given to fly
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:44 PM
|
#22
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
|
(hush, you're not supposed to mention that, Rob)
I did appreciate that line from shawn; "
This poem is sex in words. Thanks for posting it.  "
Welcome. I'm very sad but I'm also pleased I've posted something that's been called genius, and I'm also happy I have the center of gravity to dive off a building. |
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:46 PM
|
#23
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,929
|
__________________
"Let me be mad! Chain me, ye furies, to your iron beds! And lash my guilty corpse, with whips of scorpion!"
- HWV 60
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:49 PM
|
#24
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
|
Come on, someone go ahead and say this poem is trash. I'd rather rap (I have) than make something like this.
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:52 PM
|
#25
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,911
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by German Voodoo
(hush, you're not supposed to mention that, Rob)
|
Jen mentioned it herself.
You and Shawn?
Unrequited love's a bore. The two of you have to learn to differ. If we don't get into critique he'll turn mod.
If it's going to make you happy I think that this poem is awful 
Last edited by Baron : 10-21-2007 at 07:54 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:53 PM
|
#26
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Gender: Private
Posts: 448
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn
|
*Rushes to search for his poetry*
Opening links to poems by the likes of Longfellow is orgasmic to me.
Sad but true. :/
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~
And he still gives his love, he just gives it away
The love he receives is the love that is saved
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A Man that is given to fly
Last edited by female_writer : 10-21-2007 at 07:55 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:56 PM
|
#27
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,911
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by female_writer
Opening links to poems by the likes of Longfellow is orgasmic to me.
Sad but true. :/
|
What would a link to Edward Lear do? 
(I was going to go for Byron but this is a family board)  |
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:57 PM
|
#28
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
|
I've just deleted my account at MWC, for good. I'll probably tell Saturnine not to contact me.
I'm through, folks. I'm sick and I can't handle this self imposed hell of drama. I've been called virulent, abusive, and a liar. I am all those things and much more. It's a fucked world and I'm too busy fucking it to help it.
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 07:57 PM
|
#29
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,929
|
Quote:
|
Come on, someone go ahead and say this poem is trash. I'd rather rap (I have) than make something like this.
|
It's utter rubbish. A trite collection of words that has no meaning, no structure, and no poetry in it whatsoever. May I suggest tossing it into a trashcan filled to the brim with kerosene, then lighting it aflame... hopefully taking the author along with it. Perhaps then the ashes could be scattered to so damnably downward wind that will take it straight to hell where it belongs, along with such polarizing figures as Dickinson and Adolph Hitler.
Something like that?
Quote:
|
Unrequited love's a bore. The two of you have to learn to differ. If we don't get into critique he'll turn mod.
|
Unrequited love usually ends up with someone hurt...
We could get on topic, but this is such a fun fiesta of ooey-gooey, cinnamon-bun-like, poetic goodness.
Off Topic:
Plus, the hat doesn't seem to fit when my boyfriend looks over my shoulder... I'm such a tough man. Argh!
__________________
"Let me be mad! Chain me, ye furies, to your iron beds! And lash my guilty corpse, with whips of scorpion!"
- HWV 60
|
|
|
|
|
10-21-2007, 08:13 PM
|
#30
|
|
Best Seller
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Britain
Gender: Male
Posts: 660
|
Peace
__________________
"In the end it is impossible not to become what others think you are." - Julius Caesar
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:59 AM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us: 
|
|
