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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 10-19-2007, 12:04 PM   #1
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A bubble began
The life of I am
A self contained underwater breathing apparatus
That joined with other s.c.u.b.a. suspending the stratos

Gravity forms all
Big and small
From foot to flower
To root and shower

All thought
However taught
Comes to naught
So go by what you know
And need to know
And let the rest go
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Old 10-20-2007, 12:02 AM   #2
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Lol, nice thoughts and the life beginning, likened to a little scuba diving event made me smile. A simple poem that pleased. Look forward to seeing what else you post Writer and welcome. huni
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Old 10-20-2007, 07:18 PM   #3
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I really liked this. Except for the part
Quote:
All thought
However taught
Comes to naught

because the rhyme seems unnecessary and a bit forced. I really liked the next section of that stanza, though. The rhyming worked better there.
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