Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-18-2007, 10:06 PM   #16
Writing Machine
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
Eiji Tunsinagi is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron View Post
I'm not tire-ing of reading this
I think I'm getting tyred. Is that possible?
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
Eiji Tunsinagi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2007, 01:17 AM   #17
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Gender: Male
Posts: 24
DoctorBadAss is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to DoctorBadAss
From a very non-technical standpoint, this is an enjoyable piece. The reversals in the first stanza pulled me in and intrigued me right away, with the last line closing the deal so to speak. It added an element of drama to the scene being portrayed, and it flowed on without a hitch (with perhaps the exception of the already mentioned "bleeding-chapped" which gave me pause).

I fully admit to being a complete neophyte to the deeper workings of poetry, though I am, as Baron stated, one of the ones who buys. I may not be a poetic technician, but I definitely enjoy this piece for its own sound and feel. Well done Eiji.
__________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend." ---- Albert Camus.

"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar."
- Edward R. Murrow
DoctorBadAss is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2007, 09:09 AM   #18
Writing Machine
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
Eiji Tunsinagi is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoctorBadAss View Post
From a very non-technical standpoint, this is an enjoyable piece. The reversals in the first stanza pulled me in and intrigued me right away, with the last line closing the deal so to speak. It added an element of drama to the scene being portrayed, and it flowed on without a hitch (with perhaps the exception of the already mentioned "bleeding-chapped" which gave me pause).

I fully admit to being a complete neophyte to the deeper workings of poetry, though I am, as Baron stated, one of the ones who buys. I may not be a poetic technician, but I definitely enjoy this piece for its own sound and feel. Well done Eiji.
Thanks...uhm...Bad Ass.
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
Eiji Tunsinagi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2007, 10:30 AM   #19
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,916
J.R. MacLean is on a distinguished road
gaa, it's too early to be talking about snow.

enjoyed this, though I think it could be structured more effectively
by allowing the extent of the N's predicament to be revealed more gradually.
J.R. MacLean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2007, 10:38 AM   #20
Writing Machine
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
Eiji Tunsinagi is an unknown quantity at this point
Thanks JR. I see where you're coming from. (I don't know if I feel like taking all the time to change it though!) I could just make the end the beginning and the beginning the end...
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
Eiji Tunsinagi is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:00 AM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers