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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 10-17-2007, 12:07 PM   #1
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Feeding Fracas

Would you please agree on a type of pasta.
Why, oh why do you have to be such a contrary pair?
What difference, really, is there between spaghetti and linguini?
When one of you declares their gastronomical lust the other flatly refuses
to let them have it. Why can't you co-operate rather than fight?
This is what's on offer for today. Here we go-
tagliatelli and sundry vegetation.
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Old 10-17-2007, 12:30 PM   #2
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I strangely like this one. Some line breaks would help further it though.
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Old 10-17-2007, 12:35 PM   #3
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I agree with Elji. You should play around with the format. The timing of a poem on this particular theme is unbelievable.
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Old 10-22-2007, 10:06 AM   #4
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Hello Elji, Baron
thanks for your replies- regarding the line breaks- this was a bit of an experiment to try and shape the poem a bit like a wheatsheaf!? given the wheaty nature of pasta- seemed like a good idea at the time.....but left me riddled with doubt as to whether i'd sacrificed all sense of rhythm and sound for an aesthetic effect, still umming and aahing on that one...
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Old 10-22-2007, 10:15 AM   #5
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I like the idea. I don't want to give line break suggestions, that's Baron's place. If he sees this, I'm sure he'll flip some stuff around for you as an example.
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Old 11-07-2007, 08:11 AM   #6
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It is strange yet another good read. Look forward to reading more of yours Autumn. huni
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