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RENDEZVOUS

A ceiling fan turns
and cool riffs
the empty room.

The dark one
on the floor
cuts afternoon light
to bits.

Across the room
a table
holds gin and a cigarette.
Shadows hold you.

I have turned
many sides to myself
like a seashell
tumbled on the waves,
But this one lies
half hidden,
a night creature
whose only hint is eyes.

The room is so cool.
The afternoon waits
outside the door
for a while.

Eiji Tunsinagi

This was very cool. Very noir-ish. Just remember, don't ever post thread titles in all caps - that can get you buried around here. But besides that, I really liked the image you created and the simple lines and stanza. Makes me want to write one like this. I think I will.

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"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"

Baron

I love the feeling of this and particularly the last stanza

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SteMcGrath

Very simple. Nice imagery 'cuts afternoon light to bits'- great line. Pleasant read.

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"He was over at our house struggling with a poem he could not finish, so I took him upstairs and gave him sex. He came down and finished that verse in twenty-five minutes."

apple

Thank you Eiji for the very nice compliment. I wasn't aware of the capitalization fact. Won't do it again. Thank you Baron, I always love you. And SteMcGrath, thank you. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Ilasir Maroa

Last three lines rocked. Great image! Good poem overall, quite reminiscent of an afternoon in a courthouse jury room... or private eye office.

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My hopeful book:
Crap! Haven't posted it anywhere yet, darn!
"Only tyranny cloaks itself in shadows. The light of justice can not be hidden."

www.theoddvillepress.com