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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Three from Slumber Three from Slumber
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 09-09-2007, 12:31 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Between the Triangle and the Triad
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MostlyWater is on a distinguished road
Three from Slumber
1,000s of herons
fall from the sky
and the van rolls
over.

Disappointed that spirits don’t exist.
It’s 1957 and you’re making the sound of a
blossoming flower.


May you have fevered dreams of sleep like stone…



__________________
-ghosts and fighter jets
turn to
spirits and Hero’s engine
Last edited by MostlyWater : 09-09-2007 at 12:32 AM. Reason: spacing
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Old 09-09-2007, 08:27 AM   #2
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testinglimits is on a distinguished road
not sure about the title in reference the 'three' thought 'freed' would work better.

I think '1000s' should be replaced with 'thousands'

Quote:
It’s 1957 and you’re making the sound of a

blossoming flower.


great line here, best in my view

TL
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