Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will
be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
09-06-2007, 12:07 PM
|
#1
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Grimsby, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,866
|
headshot
Creep, sneak, peek, shoot,
killing polygon's a hoot.
Slashing textures, pressing square,
lots of blood but I don't care.
Volumetric, real time lighting,
hate to die, love the fighting.
Bombs explode, feel the rumble,
shoot a leg to see them crumble.
Snigger at the points I got:
'mummy please, one more headshot'
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
Last edited by Azmakna : 09-09-2007 at 03:34 PM.
|
|
|
|
09-06-2007, 12:10 PM
|
#2
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,992
|
Lol I like it. Why no caps? You should know better. At least capitalise I.
 |
|
|
|
|
09-06-2007, 12:19 PM
|
#3
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Grimsby, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,866
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron
Lol I like it. Why no caps? You should know better. At least capitalise I.
|
i hate you, Baron... look what you made me do with your frickin' Pms!
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
|
|
|
|
|
09-06-2007, 12:22 PM
|
#4
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,992
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azmakna
i hate you, Baron... look what you made me do with your frickin' Pms!
|
You have a way with words. I still think that a few caps wouldn't go amiss.  |
|
|
|
|
09-06-2007, 12:24 PM
|
#5
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Grimsby, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,866
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron
You have a way with words. I still think that a few caps wouldn't go amiss. |
lol... i suppose if i must *drags knuckles over keyboard*
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
|
|
|
|
|
09-06-2007, 01:00 PM
|
#6
|
|
Addict
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 105
|
I thought this was a nice representation of a gaming experience!
|
|
|
|
|
09-06-2007, 07:30 PM
|
#7
|
|
Adept Writer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Goomalling, Western Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 932
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azmakna
sorry too embarrassing
|
hmm ...
this edited version is shorter than your usual offerings, Azmakna ...
and, while emotive, lacks the imagery or the engagement
that I've come to expect from your work ...
it also lacks punctuation ... 
__________________
"I don't know ... I'm making it up as I go ..." - Dr I Jones
Nature abhors perfection - cats abhor a vacuum!
|
|
|
|
|
09-09-2007, 03:33 PM
|
#8
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Grimsby, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,866
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cran
hmm ...
this edited version is shorter than your usual offerings, Azmakna ...
and, while emotive, lacks the imagery or the engagement
that I've come to expect from your work ...
it also lacks punctuation ...
|
lol... i'll put it back up. i've been thinking about it and i think i may have insulted baron unknowingly. it was his idea of just writing something spontaneous that lead to 'Head shot'
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
|
|
|
|
|
09-09-2007, 04:28 PM
|
#9
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 279
|
Myself I like flash thoughts, given a prompt, but that's just me.
enjoyed the read, simplified my gaming experience
TL
|
|
|
|
|
09-09-2007, 07:16 PM
|
#10
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,992
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azmakna
lol... i'll put it back up. i've been thinking about it and i think i may have insulted baron unknowingly. it was his idea of just writing something spontaneous that lead to 'Head shot' |
If you're going to insult me then you could at least put some feeling behind it and do it intentionally.    |
|
|
|
|
09-09-2007, 08:51 PM
|
#11
|
|
Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: portland
Gender: Female
Posts: 455
|
yes, yes, interesting.
do you ever not rhyme?
jen
|
|
|
|
|
09-10-2007, 08:03 AM
|
#12
|
|
Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Grimsby, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,866
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms. vodka
yes, yes, interesting.
do you ever not rhyme?
jen
|
I love you Vodka! you just made me laugh... thanks. i do rhyme quite a lot don't I... lol.
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
|
|
|
|
|
09-10-2007, 08:12 PM
|
#13
|
|
Adept Writer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Goomalling, Western Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 932
|
well ... this piece of fun just had to rhyme ...
or it wouldn't have worked ...
but, Azmakna, it seems the intoxicating lady
has thrown down (or merely dropped?) her glove
and set thee a quest worthy of a champion ...
go forth, and rhyme not, to prove thyself ... 
__________________
"I don't know ... I'm making it up as I go ..." - Dr I Jones
Nature abhors perfection - cats abhor a vacuum!
|
|
|
|
|
09-10-2007, 08:27 PM
|
#14
|
|
Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,992
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cran
well ... this piece of fun just had to rhyme ...
or it wouldn't have worked ...
but, Azmakna, it seems the intoxicating lady
has thrown down (or merely dropped?) her glove
and set thee a quest worthy of a champion ...
go forth, and rhyme not, to prove thyself ...
|
Don't you think it more of a challenge for those who forsake rhyme and metre to try to work with it? If you looked at some of the other poems that Az has posted recently then you might find, anyway, that the challenge was met before it was made.
Last edited by Baron : 09-10-2007 at 08:29 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
09-10-2007, 08:35 PM
|
#15
|
|
Adept Writer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Goomalling, Western Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 932
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron
Don't you think it more of a challenge for those who forsake rhyme and metre to try to work with it? If you looked at some of the other poems that Az has posted recently then you might find, anyway, that the challenge was met before it was made. |
Perhaps, but I'm not the one to tell ...
__________________
"I don't know ... I'm making it up as I go ..." - Dr I Jones
Nature abhors perfection - cats abhor a vacuum!
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:03 PM. Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0
|
|
Newsletter |
 |
|
Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
|
|
Link to Us: 
|
|
