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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
09-05-2007, 10:14 PM
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#1
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Addict
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Gender: Female
Posts: 188
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Threads of Dread
Year after year I find it here
really please format sucks
Why won"t I critique the chattering ducks?
Do I hate it, do I judge?
No not I, stuck in this sludge
The mess the pain please refrain
let me find just one who is sane
Now I inspire, cliche yes deaths fune-real pyre
Blather on about my faults when it gets me
then I shall go, for then I will know
I have found my equal
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09-06-2007, 07:12 AM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 279
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lol always enjoy your pieces, I think because they are flashed out so have raw feelings attached to each thought presented.
TL
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09-06-2007, 12:43 PM
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#3
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Addict
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Gender: Female
Posts: 188
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TL thanks for the responses (yes all of them) I guess you may be correct raw flashed out feelings or thoughts they lead somewhere just haven't quite figured it out yet.
Sharon
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09-06-2007, 12:57 PM
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#4
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Wordsmith
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On course
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,990
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You seem to be working out emotion and frustration in your recent poems. I'm calling it as I see it. To me, seeing it this way, makes it dificult to offer valid comments or critique of the art because the real measure of how good it is has to be how much release it brings to you.
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09-06-2007, 01:13 PM
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#5
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 105
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A 'straight from the heart' poem.
And Baron, I thought that was a lovely way of putting it - "because the real measure of how good it is has to be how much release it brings to you".
I can identify with this readily.
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09-06-2007, 01:18 PM
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#6
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Addict
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Gender: Female
Posts: 188
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Baron is intuitive that way and I appreciate the comments always.
Vortex thanks for adding your points. Summers over back to class tomorrow maybe stop being so lazy and free falling, the work will be more agreeable to critique in future.
Thanks again
Sharon
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09-13-2007, 06:23 AM
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#7
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,741
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You remind me of a long time poster here (Gordon) I love to read his work out-loud and did so with yours. Made it a read I enjoyed. huni
__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust
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09-13-2007, 11:31 AM
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#8
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 158
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I agree with Baron that the "release" aspect makes it difficult to critique, but as I often use poetry as my release valve, I appreciate this. I've seen poetry that is perfect in form yet has no soul. I'll take a poem like this, whose form may not be perfected, but whose heart is bare and beautiful.
J
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09-13-2007, 11:45 AM
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#9
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,994
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This was a raw poem, Lady.
let me find just one who is sane
I don't think this line worked though - not with the others, at least.
But this was hasty, so it can be overlooked.
__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."
"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"
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