Explicate! - Writers Forum

Nikatu · 05-04-2007, 05:23 PM

Explicate!?

Who?
Sell Wind?
Mob Early?
eEP!
What do I know about a poet who writes about a crappy poet?
So he’s outdated
And struggles to bring back a classic style,
But he’s not right?

Ok, but it’s not his fault that he’s wrong?
Right?
He was born early…
Oh wait, late!
And in merry old
Savage England…
Savage England?
What?
Greek mythology?
How does that help?
Wake up damnit!
What do you mean!?
Give me a dictionary to look up factitious…
And Capaneus…
I know trout already, I think,
What if it alludes to something else!

That’s it; I’ll go Pound on his grave,
And demand he explain his illusions.
Illusions?
Was that a Freudian slip?
Greek Myths and Greek words!
It’s all Greek with him!
To me?
I don’t know Greek,
And I’m not in Rome.
And I certainly don’t hear
The calling sirens,
And I’m not wearing earplugs!
Oh no! Rocks!

He had a loyal wife named…
Flubber?
Flaubert?
Something weird like that.
And he went fishing.
Who, the loyal wife?
No! The damned poet in question,
Mob Early!
Anyway he went fishing,
But he chose a bad spot,
Or something.
But wait, it wasn’t a bad spot
He saw some hot babe’s hair
Instead of a clock.
Time flies,
Right?

And it flew so much for this dude
That he didn’t notice the march
Lots of people in the streets,
A whole parade!
And not one of them noticed
This guy watching that girl,
Squeezing flowers from nuts.
French!
I had Greek before!
How many languages am I supposed to speak!
Damnit wake up and tell me what it means!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's obviously a work in progress, and I'm hoping that someone who reads this will have some idea of what I'm talking about and what I'm trying to do. It is meant to be slightly humurous, but you might have to know the poem I'm talking about in order to get it... I want to try and do this for the whole piece eventually, so feedback is very welcome.

Hugh Selwyn Mauberley <---- The First Section of this poem is the object in question

L00kbackinanger · 05-06-2007, 03:38 AM

It doesn't work for me. It's obviously about showing off your literary expertise and knowledge in a pseudo-clever way. The thing is that the overtness with which this cleverness is showcased is a complete turn off from the poem. It reads like dialogue cut and pasted into a poetic form.

Nikatu · 05-08-2007, 03:24 PM

I'm sorry, but it wasn't about me attempting to demonstrate any cleverness of my own, it was me attempting to portray the frustration in attempting to explicate a complicated poem... Your response uses a style of language that screams hypocrite. You are obviously attacking this poem in due to your inflated ego, and you lack understanding of modern poetry. As for a dialogue in poetic format... is there something wrong with that?

Jiieden · 05-08-2007, 03:54 PM

I think both of you should be more civil to the other.

L00kbackinanger, you should have added some constructive criticism. It is not suprising, that Nikatu responded in the way he did, given your comments. While I do think there is some truth in them, I feel that you should only be giving constructive, or helpful, comments. If you want to post a comment which adds nothing to Nikatu's work, or fails to help him improve it in any way, you should have remained silent.

Nikatu, I also believe that you should respond more graciously to criticism. You have no reason to believe that what L00kbackinanger says is hypocritical, and there is no need to call names. Just take what you can from his comments, be civil, and move on.

Now, as to your poem. I'm afraid to confess I have not read the work in question. I would comment in-depth, but as you say, I cannot understand it without having read that specific poem. Would you be so kind as to name the work, so that I can return to your poem with a more informed opinion? I am curious to know if what you have done is indeed 'pseudo-clever' - or whether it is genuinely a nifty riff on a famous poem. So please, link to the inspiring piece in question!

Nikatu · 05-08-2007, 04:22 PM

Thank you, and you're right... I actually have felt guilty ever since I posted the angry respone. But along with the comment anger had made on my poem, I caught another he had made on another poem in which he had absolutely nothing positive to say there either, and the comments were somewhat similar. It takes a lot to get me angry, but someone who feels they are high and mighty enough to do nothing but rag on others always gets to me.

As for the poem it is actually my personal reaction to the explication I did on Ezra Pound's 'Hugh Selwyn Mauberley', it is the first section, and I attempted to organize my stanzas to align with Pound's. Pound is very heavy on the allusions on his piece, and I'm actually going to take this a step further and explicate the poem for my senior thesis. This poem is simply meant to be funny, and to anyone who has struggled through the piles of allusions Pound uses, trying to figure out exactly what he meant at any given time I think it might be, but then again I lack a decent sense of humor

. My response is supposed to sound like the bewildered and extremely confused student attempting to pick apart something a bit heavy.

Link it lol? I think maybe I can find the first section, but I don't know if I can find an accurate copy of it. Parts of Pound's poem are using the Greek alphabet, but the more I think of it, the less I think that the first section had this.

Hugh Selwyn Mauberley

dannyboy · 05-08-2007, 06:08 PM

I thought it was funny - maybe not a great poem, but certainly, funny and clever.

as for the crit stuff - do not expect positive feedback. There is no reason it has to be positive. I am happy to get a response rather than nothing - any response, even 'I hate this pile of shit'.

It is not personal, it cannot be unless you know each other. It is simply a response to a poem. Deal with it without responding to the reviewer.

So many here want to attack the negative poster - wrong. Move on. Comment on the poem.

If you think the review is harsh, post your review. If its your poem, reply with a thank you and move on. There is no need to take it personally. Its a comment about a poem.

Jiieden · 05-09-2007, 09:03 AM

Well, after trying to read Pound's pile of obsfuscation, I can sympathize with the sentiment of your poem, Nikatu. I espiecially like the lines:

"That’s it; I’ll go Pound on his grave,
And demand he explain his illusions."

That's just how I felt! I wonder how many languages he spoke...?

Azmakna · 05-09-2007, 09:36 AM

Ego gets in the way of good writing. i for one know nothing, which is why i will improve

Nikatu · 05-09-2007, 02:11 PM

Thank you for the responses, and as you can see this poem does need a bit of work. Any suggestions? I want to continue this poem onto other sections, because Pound only gets more complex the further along in the poem. Some of the allusions I could find nowhere but in Wikipedia and a fifty year old, esoteric dictionary on Folklore that my proffessor didn't bother telling me about until after I had submitted the research paper for his class. Luckilly, I did have a copy of Pound's work by a corporate publisher with a very decent editor by the name of Lauter... He translated almost everything into English that wasn't (in footnotes of course), explained a great deal of the allusions although not completely in depth, and for the most part left the actual style and format of the poem as close to original as possible (even going as far as leaving the section titled Envoi entirely in italics. Pound is damned thick on his allusions, but after I untangled them a little bit and started to realize what it was he was saying his piece became hilarious and bitter at the same time. What I want to do with this little series of poems I'm proposing is give the reactions of the uwitting reader, who hasn't had a chance to get at either helpful footnotes or a wide array of dictionaries, and is reading Pound for the first time.

L00kbackinanger · 05-10-2007, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikatu

Your response uses a style of language that screams hypocrite. You are obviously attacking this poem in due to your inflated ego, and you lack understanding of modern poetry.

I must agree, at least in part, with your response to my reasoned critique. I do have an inflated ego. But Ezra Pound is not modern poetry and nor is this piece. I have a thorough knowledge of modern poetry. This poem has some merit it's true, it's just such a shame that it comes across as so, well, overblown and pseudo it has to be said.

At least I've read it. You should be grateful not rude. I say what I think and think what I say. That doesn't mean I think everything else is crap as well. Because it's not.