Stranger Than Thou

Any and all input much appreciated. I will try and return favours.


No Egg For Dinner
6'clock
after a difficult day.
My feeble attempt at a meal - fried egg.

Fat sizzling, clock quietly ticking
thoughts marinating in my head.

Imagination seduced
by images of you
flashing in and out of my mind.

Front door opening
front door closing.
Your voice, 'How was your day, Honey?'
l leave the spatula
and turn to greet you

Worries drifting away
dancing to the ceiling
with the steam from the pan

I gaze lovingly
basking in the warmth
radiating from your smile.

Beautiful blue eyes
peircing
hypnotic

My hands reach for your glowing face
fingers collide
with cold glass
and slide off the picture's frame.

Fat sizzling, clock quietly ticking
room filling with smoke.
No egg for dinner.



Thanks for reading.

Richie.S

In my opinion a very well contructed piece. As a reader I was drawn into the poem's universe. The fact that you achieved this for me speaks to your skill.

But

I think it would be better to write "Six O'Clock" rather than using the number. Apart from that, all I have to say is, bloody good work. Couldn't fault anything else.

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Stuff I've posted in the past is still worthy of being critiqued. Please check it out and have your say. I will return the favour.