Fear. - Page 2 - Writers Forum

gordon · 04-12-2007, 07:57 PM

G................................................. ...................

female_writer · 04-12-2007, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gordon

bye bye u ignorant fool how dare you tell me bye f%^&n bye you cant even spell my name.
wow gee this is great this is awesome this is deep this is meaningful i agree With everything you will never write or ever write in this life.
G.
What do I know? editor of 6 poetry magazines 12 ezines This was a place where critique was received and given in equal measure now just another board admin sort it out or are you just hiding behind silly avatars and non posting Little badges Pawn ? Nae?anyone left?

G................................................. ...................

Wow^^

I guess Im not as bad off as I thought.
Sorry G, I simply wrote down what popped into my mind.

Doodles · 04-12-2007, 10:05 PM

I really Like this poem alot and I can't say that aobut many of the poems I've seen on WF...

Stranger Than Thou · 04-12-2007, 11:27 PM

This thread was certainly worth reading. I enjoyed your poem (would make great rock lyrics) and GordOn made me laugh. Oh well, back to work. Keep writing nineteen.

Bye bye Gordon.

sardpete · 04-13-2007, 02:15 AM

I think you got the rythm from this:
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg, and howlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
it's very common in spells.
Or perhaps you have some memory of Blake's Tyger, the classic heartbeat poem. I think it's not bad, but lacks an end. Could you wrap it up better? If it is really a first attempt at poetry I think all the writer's on the thread must admit it's not bad. Incidentally I am also an amatur and thanks to people here (especially danny boy) I have greatly improved three of my poems.

Richie.S · 04-14-2007, 05:05 AM

I thought this piece was strong in its simplicity. I also agree with Stranger, it would make an excellent stanza in a thrash/goth rock song.
I would say one thing about these forums; I've tended to find that those who dismiss a persons piece without saying why, don't actually have anything worthwhile to say. Keep up the good work.

nineteen · 04-14-2007, 05:52 AM

in spite of all your nice comment i'd really like this poem to "die". everytime it looks like it's going to sink down to be forgotton, it creeps right back up. i hate this poem now.

if you want to read my work, read my short stories pls. pls pls pls. i hate it.