Quote:
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Originally Posted by FootballStar20
It’s nice out here
maybe there are clouds
but look at the stars.
The rain and the clouds
all be damned.
I see them clear as day tonight.
So come on out.
It’s only rain.
Don’t you like how it feels
and how you can breath it in?
It’s clean and clear
and feels great on the skin.
But what’s best about rain;
you only notice it
when it’s all you think about.
So come on out
It’s only rain.
The storm can’t hide
all the stars tonight.
So come on out.
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I like it, it's nice and simple. only lines I didn't like were:
"It's clean and clear," I automatically thought "clean and clear and under control," which is the slogan of one of the acne treatments.
"The rain and the clouds
all be damned."
First of all, you ender a line with 'clouds' 2 lines before this bit, second of all, I don't know why, but the word 'damned' broke the feeling for me.
I liked the repetition of "so come on out." Good job, it's a nice poem, not really deep or thought provoking, but I like it anyhow.
