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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
12-18-2006, 06:47 PM
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#1
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Scribe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 78
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Haiku
Warm tea fills my cup
A stream trickling through
The last of the snow.
Last edited by John2 : 12-22-2006 at 10:37 AM.
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12-18-2006, 08:53 PM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: BC Canada
Gender: Female
Posts: 236
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Hi John2, Your poem paints a vivid picture. I can almost feel the coolness of the air and the warmth of the tea. Lovely, thanks for sharing. If you feel that you would like to, could you please comment on my poem, "Am I chasing the Wind?" by citygirl. I would really appreciate your comments and tips on how to make the poem better. Cheers  citygirl |
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12-18-2006, 10:46 PM
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#3
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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,741
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Love this so much. Wonderful haiku. Very in the moment and seasonal. (not sure you needed the word spring, it is so well implied by the last of the snow melting into streams, while still being cold enough for hot tea to hug.) Creates many images and feelings for me. Well done John2. warm regards huni.
__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust
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12-19-2006, 01:44 PM
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#4
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Scribe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 78
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Thanks
Thanks all, I really appreciate the feedback.
Look forward to reading your work.
Best,
John.
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12-19-2006, 08:30 PM
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#5
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,934
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J2: very fine and evocative
cheers
J.R.
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12-20-2006, 07:33 PM
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#6
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Scribe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 78
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Thank J.R.
Look forward to reading one of your poems.
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12-20-2006, 07:45 PM
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#7
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Scribe
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Fantasy Island
Gender: Male
Posts: 60
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I have read a lot of your works, John2, and I must say I admire your ability to convey lush imagery flawlessly. Usually, I dislike most Haikus because of the vagueness, but this is what a Haiku should be.
__________________
In Thirteen Seconds... (short story)
Please comment + critique my works!! I will return the favor. If I comment or critique yours, I would appreciate it if you could return the favor =)
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