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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
05-30-2006, 12:38 AM
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#1
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Best Seller
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: kensington, nh
Gender: Male
Posts: 656
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the mesicale terminator Man with elephant Hands (language)
hi, fellows, and fellahs... i haven't written any poetry in like, weeks... i hope it don't show...
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warning: language)
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Fuck
The Word they speak
MR. Elephant Hands
Speaking from mouths of spitting ash
You are so cute
And sliced eyeballs
You are so fresh
And rotten flesh eating banana
If they talk to you
like you are some sort
of
Diseased Alcoholic
raging and manifesting
Acute Angina
Just fuck them
Do not listen to how they moan
Them bastards
Them be square beavers
They like their wood
If cut them down you do
shave them beavers
on their furry genitalia
Fuck them furry critters
Latch onto a purple ghost blanket
eating chinese pineapples
lying on a beach on the Pacific
them bastards
Beastly and obtuse
irregular and obese
on the Mexican Highway Of Hope
Screaming anecdotes down
throats of Chinese apples
and blind banana brains
custard pies and lame stains
there is no hope for you
then, Mr. Elephant Hands,
unless you grow eyes of Japan
and steal signs from the Third Reich
__________________
purple junk diluted iguana infested snarkleberries hungry traveller
Last edited by salvothasock : 05-30-2006 at 02:00 AM.
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05-30-2006, 01:36 AM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: My house...dah!
Gender: Female
Posts: 23
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When writing poetry, make sure you remember to put a capital letter at the start of each new line...it's just rule with poetry..don't ask me why. LOL!
Another tip..some people may be offended by your use of language. Your poem sounds really angry, but you don't quite go into depth of why. Try to add a little more to it. Hope this is helpful.
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05-30-2006, 02:00 AM
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#3
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Best Seller
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: kensington, nh
Gender: Male
Posts: 656
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oopsie, forgot the warning, heh...
thanks jemma, i appreciate it. 
its not anger... no, its, confusion i suppose...
-andy
__________________
purple junk diluted iguana infested snarkleberries hungry traveller
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05-30-2006, 02:32 AM
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#4
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Scribe
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Arizona
Gender: Male
Posts: 74
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You have my mind swimming past the buoys with this. I don't know if my mental motherboard can compute a poem mentioning sliced eyeballs, genitalia, chinese pineapples, custard pies and the Third Reich.
To me, this poem is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with jalepenos and mustard: I love the ingredients; don't know if I love them this close together.
This one definitely needs another night to digest.
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05-30-2006, 08:40 AM
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#5
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,934
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Andy: naw, it don't show. welcome back!
J.R.
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05-30-2006, 08:46 AM
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#6
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: australia
Posts: 4,535
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I found this very funny and reminded me of some trips many years ago.
Thnak you.
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05-30-2006, 11:10 AM
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#7
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2003
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,528
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Quote:
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When writing poetry, make sure you remember to put a capital letter at the start of each new line...it's just rule with poetry..don't ask me why. LOL!
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- ummm, what?! LoL not to be a wanker, but i couldnt POSSIBLY disagree more with this statement.
good work, andy. as always, your poetry is like a urinary tract infection made of heroin. or something equally absurd
keep it up!
- andy
__________________
His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.
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05-30-2006, 01:30 PM
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#8
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Best Seller
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: kensington, nh
Gender: Male
Posts: 656
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pageburner, mmm, thanks for the feedback, i dont know if i'd eat that pbj sandwich either
jrmac, thanks sir, hehe
dannyboy, yes... glad you liked it, thank you mr
strangedaze, ok, i shall keep it up... thanks for the feedback man 
-andy
__________________
purple junk diluted iguana infested snarkleberries hungry traveller
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