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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
05-19-2006, 06:36 PM
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#1
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Best Seller
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North Eastern England UK
Gender: Male
Posts: 682
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How dare you
How dare you
in your Sunday best
How dare you disturb my rest
My peace, my days, so precious few
Who the bloody hell are you
How dare you insist I die
I'm home to breathe and rest awhile
you can stuff your bloody feather
your friends can brood and flock together
your sons are dying in the mud
I'll return soon for little good
How dare you. You ignorant yet influential few.
Last edited by ross : 05-20-2006 at 07:35 AM.
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05-19-2006, 08:44 PM
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#2
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ohio.. blehhhh
Gender: Male
Posts: 905
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good. i have a rough idea of what it's about. war?
really good.
__________________
If I make it as a writer, I'll write for the hobo, not the professor.
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05-20-2006, 07:20 AM
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#3
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Best Seller
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North Eastern England UK
Gender: Male
Posts: 682
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Thanks.
Last edited by ross : 06-01-2008 at 02:52 PM.
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05-20-2006, 01:28 PM
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#4
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lingering in doorways...
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,659
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Had a thought, perhaps a reference to the places that occured (it was UK wasn't it?) would strengthen the reference to the 'white feathers'. All accounted though, I thoroughly enjoyed this one ross... great stuff.
//Sy
__________________
* Poems *
- Back for a bit, more and less.
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05-20-2006, 01:39 PM
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#5
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Writer
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Portugal
Gender: Female
Posts: 43
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I love it's rhythm; it sounds great read out loud.
__________________
Turn off the sun Pull the stars from the sky The more I give to you The more I die
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05-20-2006, 09:08 PM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kentucky
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
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Ahhh, I totally love the rhythm. ::Taps hands to rhythm::
Loved it.
__________________
When the rain spoke, In a soft carress.
When the sky woke, In red distress.
When the moon shimmered, As the world passed by.
Yet the starts grew dimmer, Like the shine in your eyes.
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05-20-2006, 09:11 PM
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#7
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2005
Location: the high seas..
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,617
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that was brillaint, I really enjoyed that...
__________________
~kitty
Wilde at heart "That's pretty arrogant, considering the company you're in.."
"Yes sir."
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05-21-2006, 03:17 AM
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#8
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Best Seller
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North Eastern England UK
Gender: Male
Posts: 682
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Thanks! Really chuffed it was enjoyed.
The real stuff (the poets of the day) can be found here if anyones interested.
http://members.aol.com/ericblomqu/wwi.htm#200 |
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05-21-2006, 06:22 AM
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#9
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: West Moreton, Queensland AU
Gender: Private
Posts: 221
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That brought me back to scenes of the Four Feathers.
And well.... one day there will be time for fish and chips.
It is a powerful expression and I will definitely read more of your poems. :_)
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05-21-2006, 12:32 PM
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#10
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Best Seller
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North Eastern England UK
Gender: Male
Posts: 682
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Cheers arkayye, one day the fish and chips will be on me mate!
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05-22-2006, 01:11 PM
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#11
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Nth Co Dublin, Ireland
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,302
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OMG Ross you have fish and chips on ye? with Salt and Vinegar? Yumm flippin Eeee.
To the poem.
Loved the rythm, but was really glad someone else mentioned what it was about, because I never would have figured it.
Did like it though, a good read.
Lorlie.
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05-22-2006, 03:21 PM
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#12
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Delhi, India
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,358
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hey that's so nice!! its got a really cool rhythm!
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05-27-2006, 05:01 AM
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#13
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Best Seller
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: North Eastern England UK
Gender: Male
Posts: 682
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Hey thanks guys I appreciate that.
And yes, Lorlie. I always have chips with me! *grins*
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