One's Writer's Block - Writers Forum

Deagon777 · 04-17-2006, 11:30 PM

I'm stuck on a word I know I know
And I just cannot think of it
I decide, once again, to change the topic
And here, once again, I sit

I change my mind yet again
Images of cats and death coincide
As I vainly try for a topic but
My imagination found a place to hide

So I stare at the blank piece of paper
The pen lying idly by
This poem is due by tomorrow
And I let out another deep sigh

My mind draws a blank
There's nothing to do
But I will never give up
Not even if I write of shoe

The next day I turn in the paper
And on it is a story of a sneaker
And its view of the world from below
Trust me- no shoe is neater

I got an 'A' on the paper
And it won a writing contest
So, no matter what the hinderance
I'll write, and try to be the best

THE END

knightforce · 04-17-2006, 11:33 PM

Interesting idea for a poem...was it actually inspired by a true case of writer's block...ie, could you not think of anything to write at the time in fact?

Most interesting line is "images of death and cats coincide"...it lets the reader into the muddle that was the narrator's mind as he struggled to find the necessary focus.

Deagon777 · 03-12-2007, 08:46 PM

I know this is a flagrant bump of this thread, but I really think I've got something here. I think I just posted it at a bad time (late at night; when the site was slower...).... So please, allow this thread to continue for a little longer! [-o<

Immortal · 03-12-2007, 09:16 PM

Ah, it needs some work. It doesn't really flow and it sounds like you are trying to be poetic by using rhymes; but, everything seems really forced. Rhymes have to be natural and witty. Plus, you have some verb tense confusion ("The next day I turn in the paper"). Is this future or past? I am confused because in the beginning it sounded like the present; therefore, it must be the future when you say "the next day." But "the next day" sounds like it could go either way. So, right there your poem is getting out of wack. Then you hit the reader with "turn" and I'm like wtf mate? The line is stating that "the next day I turn in the paper" but "the next day" isn't concretely defined so the line is dependent upon the verb which is in present tense and thus even more out of wack. My head is about to explode!! Replace "turn" with "turned" or "will turn" and then change thereafter all the verbs to match what you replaced.

Other than that, you're good. Peace out! Keep poemin'!