Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-21-2006, 06:55 AM   #1
Scribe
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Birmingham, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
Orfantal is on a distinguished road
My Late Demise

I want my death to arrive like a
Virgin train, shuffling shame-faced
into station, from a journey more
stationary than loco motive,
guard glumly apologetic
and morose, glibly muttering of
leaves lain in wait upon the lines.

I’d like it served cold, fast food
gone slow, a rusty rundown car
stalled in the drive through lane,
apoplectic parents weakly
pacifying sullen baying brats.

I’d like it absentmindedly
overdue, a well liked and leafed
library book, long loaned
literally lost and alone,
left out of sight and mind.

I’d like it said a stuttered sentence,
trembling timorously behind tongue
tied teeth, sprayed staccato, saliva
drenched, through clenched jaws,
delays yawning wider into pause.

I’d like it sneaking, an errant schoolboy,
scurrying surreptitiously before the end
of registration, weaving warily in the
ink stained forest of raised desks,
wiping sticky sleep from startled eyes.

O how I hope my death is late,
not me!
Orfantal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2006, 08:24 AM   #2
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,934
J.R. MacLean is on a distinguished road
ingenious and well written. Flirting a bit with overkill in word use, but overall most interesting. cheers.
J.R. MacLean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2006, 09:34 AM   #3
Profound Writer
 
Lorlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Nth Co Dublin, Ireland
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315
Lorlie is on a distinguished road
Send a message via Yahoo to Lorlie
The imagery and word play are delicious.

Great poem.
__________________
__________________
The Oddville Press


Lorlie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2006, 12:32 PM   #4
Scribe
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Birmingham, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
Orfantal is on a distinguished road
J.R. MacLean
Lorlie

Thank you both for your kind comments. This is one I had a lot of fun with, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah guess I was teetering on the edge somewhat, having too much of a good time!
Orfantal is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:33 AM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers