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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
02-20-2006, 07:31 AM
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#1
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Scribe
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Birmingham, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
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Domestic Bliss
Head bowed against the stairs
she glares into an empty space,
her face distressed and red.
Embedded in it stark and clear
her fear and with it pain
remaining as a hand shaped mark
set stark against her cheek.
A bleak reminder of the blow
let go against her pride.
She hides the evidence of course,
remorse the balm applied.
A tide of insincere glib lies
disguise the sordid fact.
Attacked behind her own front door
before her children’s eyes,
their cries a counterpoint to those
that rose against her loud,
endowed with rage and bitter hate.
A spate of vicious bile
reviling her with drunken spite.
A fight she could not halt,
the fault not hers although she paid
in spades for it despite
the rights and wrongs she took the blame.
Her shame completed as
the bastard hit her in the face,
disgracefully aware
of their disparate strengths no doubt.
Without a moment’s thought
he sought to beat down her reply
A violent answer that
her battered face showed clear.
Her tears a poignant plea
for freedom from her misery.
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02-20-2006, 07:45 AM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
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very disturbing. Extremely good description of a much to frequent occurance. I hope, for your sake, this one was fiction.
__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
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02-20-2006, 07:50 AM
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#3
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Back in Israel
Posts: 10,945
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Very admirable and classic style for such an emtotionally tense work.
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02-20-2006, 11:27 AM
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#4
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Scribe
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Birmingham, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
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Domestic Bliss
Psycho6058
Teflon
Thank you both for your kind comments, glad you found it interesting. Fortunately not a situation I have ever experienced, although I know some who have. Not sure where the inspiration came from in truth, but felt pretty strong at the time, and I guess disturbing would be what I was aiming at.
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02-20-2006, 11:41 AM
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#5
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: lost in the sonoran desert
Gender: Private
Posts: 795
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this is intense. great job of conveying such weight.
__________________
"Words have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of their reality." -Edgar Allan Poe
***
Creative Scribblings - a collection of odds and ends
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02-21-2006, 06:53 AM
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#6
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Scribe
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Birmingham, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
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Domestic Bliss
mjk
Thanks for the comments, glad you enjoyed it.
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02-21-2006, 11:39 AM
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#7
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Best Seller
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Catalunya, Spain
Gender: Female
Posts: 529
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This topic is a very sensitive and critical issue and you managed to express it with clarity and poetically--the message resonates--very, very good!
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02-21-2006, 12:29 PM
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#8
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Scribe
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Birmingham, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
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Domestic Bliss
Eleda
thank you for the very kind comments. I'm glad that it resonated with you, as you say it is a sensitive issue so i'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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