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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
02-18-2006, 11:09 AM
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#1
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio, Tx
Gender: Male
Posts: 784
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Little Boy of Long ago
He loved to hear the thunder rumble,
to hear the howling wind chorus,
then watch the lightning flash -
a better show than radio.
He walked out to watch fresh flowers open
and hear the rainfrogs sing hymns of longing
for sweet amphibian love.
He went away to hide one day
when growing up was going on.
to live back in the memory caverns,
past the junkyard of broken dreams,
behind the hurt-feelings hospital.
He comes out and takes my hand sometimes
after a long slow summer rain,
and we walk out together
just to hear those rainfrogs sing.
Jimbob
__________________
The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.
Wallace Stevens
Last edited by Jimbob : 02-18-2006 at 12:08 PM.
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02-18-2006, 11:27 AM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Peterborough, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,934
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nice JB, close to the heart. Check 'summer' spelling. There are some 'and(s), just, then' type words that could be easily and productively excised. like it a lot. cheers.
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02-18-2006, 11:53 AM
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#3
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Best Seller
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Catalunya, Spain
Gender: Female
Posts: 529
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Hi Jim, I loved the first stanza, great imagery right off the bat. And "amphibian love" now that was truly clever. This was a real treat to read, thank you!
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02-18-2006, 12:10 PM
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#4
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio, Tx
Gender: Male
Posts: 784
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Thanks, JR. I've made a few edits.
Thank you for reading, Elida.
Jimbob
__________________
The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.
Wallace Stevens
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02-18-2006, 02:15 PM
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#5
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: lost in the sonoran desert
Gender: Private
Posts: 795
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ahh, how i want a rain shower and the scent of spring! but since i live in the desert and there are no such things as these, thank you for capturing it in a poem. beautiful read. thank you.
__________________
"Words have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of their reality." -Edgar Allan Poe
***
Creative Scribblings - a collection of odds and ends
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02-18-2006, 05:26 PM
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#6
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio, Tx
Gender: Male
Posts: 784
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Thanks, mjk. I'm pleased that you like it. BTW, the Chihuahua desert is pretty spectacular on the rare occasions when it does rain and the purple sage blooms.
Jimbob
__________________
The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.
Wallace Stevens
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02-18-2006, 06:09 PM
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#7
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: australia
Posts: 4,535
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liked this a lot jimbob - rain is a powerful memory trigger.
amphibian love - reminds of this girl......
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02-18-2006, 11:17 PM
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#8
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio, Tx
Gender: Male
Posts: 784
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Thanks Danny, and don't knock amphibian love. Noticing cojoined frogs was the beginning of my sex education.
Jimbob
__________________
The river is moving.
The blackbird must be flying.
Wallace Stevens
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