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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 02-17-2006, 08:39 PM   #1
Scribe
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 72
jaworski
Baudelaire

All my words are down,
Evidently absent
From polite gestures
For they have been turned around

A view I’ve not seen,
Shoe-gazing upward
Into a conversation

Oh no! Obscurity

All my words are bored,
Counting syllables
Trying to recollect
How to spell distress?

A view I’ve not seen,
Shoe-gazing upward
Into real intelligence

Oh no! Pretence

If this night continues
As dull as it seems
Then in a few more moments
It is not merely
My words that will leave
jaworski is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2006, 01:27 PM   #2
ms. vodka
 
Posts: n/a
had to check this out as baudelaire is one of my favorites.

i like it.

it's abstract, but not too much so.

i enjoyed the oh no lines.

i like the attitude, the tone throughout.

interesting and refreshing.

vodka
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