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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 02-16-2006, 08:53 AM   #1
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
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Psycho6058
An Unremarkable Man (Revision)

Unremarkable was how his life had seemed.
Nothing ever worked the way that he had dreamed.
As a boy he thought he’d do some great thing.
Maybe learn to dance or maybe learn to sing.

He got out of school and got a job scaling fish,
he said it was just temporary ‘til he got his wish.
At home he’d watch his T.V. and dream of what he’d be,
He’d show them all what he could do, "You just wait and see.”

But years proved him wrong, and life just dragged on.
He forgot the saying: “nothing ventured nothing won”.
He didn’t think that he had anything worth giving.
He didn’t really die, he just stopped living.
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Last edited by Psycho6058 : 02-16-2006 at 11:49 AM.
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Old 02-16-2006, 11:02 AM   #2
Wordsmith
 
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silverwriter is an unknown quantity at this point
As a boy he thought he’d do some great thing
Maybe learn to dance or maybe learn to sing " - periods. *big grin*

He forgot the saying: “nothing ventured nothing won”
He didn’t think that he had anything worth giving," - periods

oooo. i like this one. the last line just smacks you on the face. very effective.

*hugs*

jaime
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Old 02-16-2006, 11:50 AM   #3
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Psycho6058
Thank you jaime. By the way, miss gramatical error specialist, how come you don't capitalize the first letter in your name?
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Old 02-16-2006, 12:04 PM   #4
Wordsmith
 
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hehehe.

you know you still think i'm special.

as for my name? that's for me to know and you to wonder.

*big grin*

*hugs*

jaime
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"I write in bed. Afterwards, I offer my laptop a cigarette." - Jolly McJollyson

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Old 02-18-2006, 06:41 PM   #5
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Psycho6058
o.k , be that way
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