Psycho6058

The waves brought my son back home,
the ships finally arrived.
Ships filled with victory and bravado,
ships filled with terror and horror,
ships filled with agony and pain.

I don’t know how many others noticed,
but the ships were drafting much shallower
then when they left, 19 months ago.

We squinted through the hazy sunset
watching the ships sail to dock,
painfully slow. It seemed to take forever.

We had been to the docks before,
and knew the routine.
Once the plank came down
the first to disembark are those
on litters and wheelchairs, and
those hobbling on crutches.

Next would be the lucky ones,
dressed in class A uniforms,
some smiling and waving,
and some with the two-mile stare.

The final group was greeted
by mortuary affairs. This group
came off just before the cargo,
‘though it was hard to tell them apart.

Some greeted their sons
(from the first group)
and almost wished they had been
with the last.

I just hugged my son and wouldn’t let go
until I was sure I wouldn’t wake up.

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All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke

dannyboy

well done P.

Orfantal

Very powerful stuff, hits into the emotions. Particularly liked :

"but the ships were drafting much shallower
then when they left, 19 months ago."

and

"This group came off just before the cargo,
‘though it was hard to tell them apart."

and the last lines that bring it all home

silverwriter

Ships filled with victory and bravado,
ships filled with terror and horror,
ships filled with agony and pain." - seeing the repeating elements of this, i'd like to see something similar elsewhere in the poem.

two- mile stare." - two-mile

Wayne!! *hugs* hello, hello. well, this sounds slightly, just slightly, prose-y to me. it sort of... has fun with the line a bit. very nice, but i think you could shove some more emotion from a father's perspective into it.

nicely done. just having a deliciously good mood and a picky morning. *grin*

*hugshugs*

jaime

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Psycho6058

jaime re: the repeating elements, in a way I did do something similar later in the poem by seperating the three groups exiting the ships. No punctuation errors? wow. Thanks (hugs)

__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke

Psycho6058

danny boy, thank you much,

orfantal, the "drafting" line was my favorite as well.

__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke