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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 02-14-2006, 12:17 PM   #1
mjk
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sunlight whispers "grow"

sunlight whispers "grow"
shines on teacher and pupils
igniting mind's eye
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Old 02-14-2006, 12:28 PM   #2
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FollowingShadow
Mmmmmmm. I identify with this poem. It's good, but I think that it needs a stronger sense of catharsis (it seems a bit open-ended). Try inserting a period at the end, if you like.

-FS
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Old 02-14-2006, 12:36 PM   #3
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neat. you may owe me a poetic commission for the use of "whispers" so soon after the last one, but you've managed to tease a nice image and multiple meanings out of an undramatic image. good job. specious akaline hamburgers
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